私は愛する ![2]

300th post

2008-06-17T19:37:00.008+08:00

HEY PEOPLE;
RELINK ME @
WWW.LEFT-ITWENT.BLOGSPOT.COM
if you know me quite well, you shld know e reason behind my url

oops. i decided to move my errr, post from here to THERE ^ *eyes up pweees*

always reminded of you

2008-06-17T10:53:00.004+08:00

299th post.
so when i come back and post about promotion parade/trg.
new blog! but have to find new skin first, or maybe i did some time ago.
hahas, hmms, yesterday was chatting with lava.
then got my sister to prank someone.
she's a powerful tool man.
she drives people crazy
and i realised something.
it may be some weird feelings telling i had gotten over n done with this 'episode',
but, seems like... im not yet done.slightly more...

i still need time to digest all these facts.

boring day

2008-06-16T13:04:00.002+08:00

woke up when yali called me.
its like, my phone was on the table before i slept.
I CAN CONFIRM.
then i felt some vibration below my waist,
then i was like wtf, why got vibration etc.
answered yl's call.
saw time, LOL, she asked me smth then i said I AM SLEEPING.
chiong down in 10 mins, yl haven reach lor.
went to sch, rotted one hour.
tx came, then later went to tiong with sharon, yl, yy, ek.
ate at mac, then went pop with sharon n yl,
walked ard, then go home.
yest i chiong maths till 12.30 then i brought wrong book.
lucky i nv give the empty book.
no emotions coz half dead.
hais, gonna rest whole aftrenoon, chiong hw at night.
SIAN, tml full u...

oh yeahs, i sorta slept well, coz all were gone =)
AND STUPID, ahhhhhh, haven do the log list!

record

2008-06-16T00:37:00.002+08:00

latest time did hw until 12.30am
today, busy day.
started doing hw at 8.30+ until now.
complete emaths 6.3,6.4, and rev6
almost 1/3 of qns dunno how to do.
a lot of blanks towards th end coz i rly dunno how to do la.
bad feeling, mr lim gonna be mad at me =/
im prepared to spend the whole of 18th june in sch doing maths...
im still not tired.
tml got moi lesson.
and ben told me, you finish it if possible.
RAWR, then i go chiong. hais, tml chiong other hw alrdy =/

settled. you make no difference in my life .

2008-06-15T18:28:00.005+08:00

OMG. TODAY IS YANLI AND ME'S LUCKY DAY!
like i said, i will settle it.
hahas, went to meet her.
then go popular buy stuff,
paid for it. and omg, we saved 4 x $1.70.
HEHEHEHEH, don't tell you why its 'saved'.
me and yanli's secret!
went to KFC coz she haven eat.
crapped, went to BK and started on MOI.
took up 3 tables. and rly camped there.
its damn messy la.
lots of funny things happened.
wanted to ask her to answer(prank) the next person who call my phone.
but no one did.
hmmms, do moi do till pekcek then anyhow write alrdy...
we dirtied our area with eraser dust xD
we saw this mad woman walking ard and laughing.
she's damn nice to go home n get stuff we need.
spent whole afternoon doing MOI, and its not rly completed.
sad la.
HAHA, then went popular get pencil (yl) and eraser.
i go use priviledge card xD
then i was digging for my 10 cents, but auntie gave 20% discount!
what i know is that the card gives 10% only?
today is such a lucky day la.
came back, saw 2 police came out from lifts of my block.
i wonder what happened.
maybe gonna rest a while then do homework?
but my hse aint a good place to do homework.
omg. my head still hurts...
plans to settle log list by tml.
BUT NO ONE REPLYING.
lols... called huixia, but cannot reach haojie.
SIAN.

yanli is making me feel bad

on the fence...

2008-06-15T11:48:00.005+08:00

i don't deny its partially my fault that things get this way.
i will fix it.
i have to.

i had a long sleep, but not a peaceful one.
someone kept bugging me in my dreams.
and i know that has never happened except for...
so, im furthermore convinced.
that all these feelings, are nothing but fakes.
just mere fillings for emptiness.

my head still hurts badly =(
guess i shldnt have done it.
meeting yl at one, chiong moi and teh teh hw..

anw,
UK TRIP ALBUM(me and esther's)

angel

2008-06-14T22:21:00.007+08:00

actually the feather's falling off.
she's supposed to look sad.
coz i wanna base it on two words; letting go.
one hour.
A3.
pretty satisfied.
enjoyed drawing.
VIEW THE ACTUAL SIZE.
gotta love the texture *hearts*
disappointed coz she looks KIDDISH =/
close to what i imagined it will be.
awkward legs.
enough said.

when did i last rly draw?

i dejavu when i least expect to

OMG! REST DAY!

2008-06-14T20:01:00.009+08:00

OMG. NO PHYSICS LESSON ON MONDAY!
MEANS I CAN REST TML, CHIONG MOI AND HW ON MONDAY!
THEN I CAN SLEEP ALL I WANT TML!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
i think i'll start doing hw after tml's long sleep.
if not i wont be able to complete anything.
WOOOOTS. i thought i have to wait for errr,
say saturday for a nice long sleeeeep.
OMG. I'VE NEVER SLEPT ENOUGH FOR AGES.
MAN, AGESSSSSSSS!

did the tarots again.
same answer as what ppl give...
now i know, and i have to go with it...
-

looks like i cannot sleep late, needa chiong MOI.
COZ, monday needa present.
WTF.
but lucky i told yanli, i call her when i wake up.
OMG. I LOVE YANLI.

feeling a bit down these days
less hyper these days ( OMG IM GROWING UP/mature!!)
i have this urge to tidy my room and start drawing on my dust collecting sketchbook...
though it really brings back memories...
hahas
drawing an angel. so not me la. but i love drawing hair in the wind, ribbons etc.
coz it requires long and smooth lines. *hearts*

The scary thing abt life is that you are walking through it all by yourself. your friends & fam cannot walk with you, but they will confirm be there to support when you gonna fall. always by your side,always cheering for you, giving you advices, guiding you along...

mere fillings~

2008-06-14T17:15:00.004+08:00

yesterday, went berserk or whatever you wanna call it.
i love to exaggerate things.
think the wall hit my head a lil too hard.
went a lil unstable after that.
chatted with esther before sleeping.
had a bad dream but i cannot rmb what
anw, did i mention i deja-vu abt 9 times in UK?

hahs, chiong, pack stuff, went to meet yy.
go get some food for breakfast,
went with kwanhua to bedok north.
took 1h to meet station masters.
miscommunications.
then move here, move there.
end up sitting on a shelterd bench.
then i sat down, and i...
~~dozed off, and fell asleep~~
you nv see anything!
okays. then more energised, a short 5 mins +(???) rest...
chatted with kwanhua, got amused by cats.
had lunch, cat stared at kwanhua, he ran away.
the cat sat on his place.
damn funny.
twice i think, i sorta freak out when it jump towards me
AND I DID AN EXPERIMENT TO PROVE THAT CATS MAO AND DON'T MEOW!!
it sat in front of kh later...
so i mao it, it turned.
i meow, ignored.
and i did this a few times.
and the cat turn ard and jump on the bench.
scary. hahas. stupid stuff happened.
and im unlucky la, 2 casualties with small cuts and bleedings.
dont wanna say why unlucky.
dismissed at 4pm.
came home.
was damn free so i was thinking a lot.
and omg, i used abt 100 sms in one day.
die alrdy...

Avoider
paul intro this game, its is damn cuteeeee. and funny.

how i feel now is that;
it was all wrong from the start...
it's just... bad luck...
purely bad luck...
let me, go on, and on,
bury it
and stuff something to fill the missing parts

right eye twitching

2008-06-13T20:11:00.007+08:00

eek, suddenly low quality =/
before actual post,
something random for you.

yesterday, left eye twitched.
now its the right eye's turn.
woke up today, rushed things.
iron skirt, polish boots, pack stuff.
went down buy 1.5 then meet yanli.
chatted as we walk to sch.
NO ONE!
after some time ben and edward came.
after some more time, sharon, jinyan waihan.
after some more more time, jolene and rebe came.
hahas, thats why i hate being punctual ( but i cannot bring myself, to be late)
the conversation was fun.
esp how we cook up the skit.
changed for trg. etc.
damn long nv have trg as a squad.
did footdrill for whole day.
later sir lee came...
yeaps, went to popular with yanli.
bought drinks with sweettalk.
yay, gonna meet yanli on sunday afternoon to chiong hw and moi =D
tml pd, i think i have to go D=
but since the hw part more or less settled then im happier
came home.
i wonder if there's anything wrong with me,
rashes keeps coming out, loss of appetite, keep rushing during meals.
oh well...
I HOPE TML's DUTY PROVIDES FREE FOOD.
its like theres a lot of games station...
hope its fun bahs
and omg, i saw cpl sophia n hy with domokun baggggggggggs!

i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. and i never thought whacking the wall with bare hands fill so good =D good way to release stress. coz i get stressed easily over small things but not big ones

section7

2008-06-12T15:55:00.005+08:00

back from the meeting.
sms bao alrdy.
spent 30mins looking for ppl.
its not what i rly expected.
and i met someone who is way more hyper than me.
hahas.
for some reasons, i just feel sad,
very very sad.

gonna chiong emaths later,
draft for proposal and moi.

im gonna bang my beloved wall again.

i complain when there's too much time;
i also complain when there's too lil time.
been complaining that i've too much too do,
and im STILL wasting time down here.
Louiza louiza, when can you finally get rid of your laziness?!

I AM DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN PISSED OFF.

detach.

2008-06-12T10:44:00.006+08:00

talked for abt 5h on the phone.
slept at ard 2.40+am
damn tired now.
i feel weird, and mean.
and some mixed emotions from blender.

gonna go plaza sing later.
just realised that there's shuttle bus there from my area...
im damn tired =/
just read the minutes of meeting yest. and the agenda today.
i need time to absorb since im half awake.
AHHH, tml got trg!
hopes my section friends arent too serious,
i'll get scared D=

i counted,
i only have abt 4 days to chiong my homework.
-one day for maths homework.
-three days for moi.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
i HATE homework.
AND HOLIDAYS.
coz thats the reason for teachers to bomb us with lots of homework!
and, did i mentioned mr lim called me when i was in uk?

btw, tarots are damn zhun for me,
but if its rly accurate...
can say that, i'm rly gonna be dead =/
it keeps pointing to a new rs. ( NO!)
and said, to move on, which i alrdy did.
yesterday's was accurate as in the current situation.
things can change so much..

NEW WALLPAPER

2008-06-11T21:09:00.002+08:00

havent received all the photos from esther...
BUT I MADE A NEW WALLPAPER.
yay. was using the manip i made all along( my featured dA piece)
so now, here you go!
credits, description all over there.
so just click it!

Uk by ~oOpizzaOo on deviant ART

I NEED MORE SLEEEP

2008-06-11T13:26:00.016+08:00

it was a protracter. GREAT IDEA RIGHT? ITS MINE.

I NEED MORE SLEEEEEEEEEEEP.
this is the first time im doing this and i sorta feel bad.
BUT LUCKY ESTHER N YY WARNED ME xD
what a clever move, you have.
i need sleep i need sleep i need sleep.
but if i sleep i'll be awake at night, sleeping in the morning.
woke up at 1, and i wanna sleep more T___T
i had a nightmare, coz im bothered.
but not anymore =D
my holiday is sure busy.
just found out form lydia that im in section7,
and my MOI topic is shock.
AHHHHHHS.
just contacted platoon commander, but no reply yet.
im sleepy, rly rly sleepy.
planning to finish a and e maths today coz yy said it was quite easy if
you get it

I WANT TO GO ROME!
coz i rly rly like the old buildings i saw in London,
it was magnificent.
i don't mind sitting down and staring at them for an hour or so,
admiring its details =D

anyway, i cannot sms much until 13th.

plans for today:
1. finish maths.
2. start on MOI
3. SLEEP EVEN MORE

and no, no uploading of photos until i feel like it!
i wanna cut my hair!
maybe when nco that time, coz lesser berets on and off bahs.
maybe gonna cut it short, like what i had in KL ( with my fam)
looking for the photo. but cannot find.
BUT MWAHHA, SHORT HAIR ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSS

just did some tarot readings.
ITS DAMN DAMN ACCURATEEEEEEEEEE!
and i've a feeling something bad will happen.

later in the evening:
met lava, walked to sch with her.
HAHAS, hmm finished amaths.
dunno emaths qns...
contacted nco, then got section meeting at 1pm in plaza sing.
I DUNNO HOW TO GO THERE.
waaa, i nv see my section before somemoreeeee
I NEED MORE TIME, MORE MORE TIME
oh yeahs, lava straightened her hair.
damn pretty.
i didnt enjoy my dinner,
i seem to be rushing for everything!

UPLOADED PHOTOS:
ESTHERS N MINE.
like usual i will give you the album link,
its over 500 photos =D
happy browsing =]
http://photobucket.com/uktrip_2008
but here are some photos:

a ghostly photo of me.
NICE HAIR RIGHT?

wales & london

2008-06-10T20:05:00.006+08:00

HEY PEEPS, I'M BACK!
~~get ready for a 1000 or more words essay~~
i think i jetlag a lil, most prob i post photos tml =)
and yangyu, don't worry ;]

so, since its a bit hard to like, say which day, date coz hour diff.
i shall just say day 1 etc.

BEFORE BOARDING PLANE
like what i've posted before leaving, i cried all the way to the airport.
FOR WHO KNOWS WHAT REASON!
alrighty, there was slight confusion over which gate to meet etc
was sitting beside sharon, aaron and yangyou.
then war etc.
watched sky of love, alvin and the chipmunks...
thats abt all i guess, cannot rly sleep.
damn long way to London.
was with dalmon(?) sec.
then arrived, damn cold.
anw, on the plane, my seat a bit siao.
then there's this cute lil girl (devil in disguise) keep punching and kicking my chair. sharon's too. then she pull our hair from the back, put leg into the space between seats.
came down from plane,
jetlagged i guess, i mean my stomach did, not me.
gastric, headaches, etc etc.
went for dinner (bread), bought a lot of sparkling water and snacks (rationing xD)
took bus to Dale Fort.
it was late at night, and we have to climb the hill(?)
OMG DAMN DARK AND COOOOOOOLD, freeaky also!
that place is literally like a small old town.
the structures are damn beautiful.
at the side(back of the fort), thre's this cliff.
ITS SO OMG-ING BEAUTIFUL!
unfortunately, i was sharing room with someone, i hate to the core.
spoilt my mood entirely.
we lived at the hostel, pillow covers, bed linen must be put on ourselves.
slept later...
OH YEAH, i deja vu-ed thrice on the plane xD
wanted to go home very much =/

NEXT DAY- 1st day of course
we had lessons next morning.
couldnt wake up in the morning,
had to share bed with esther coz i dun wanna sleep on top,
and she cannot, coz she's too tall. FUFUFUFU.
at night she forced me to the wall.
woke up coz need toilet, almost fell coz it was pitch black.
later estehr dunno do wad, tot she wanna warm me then i hugged her.
woke up with muscle aches.
river processes. our teacher was carolyn.
had boring theory in the morning, collected equipments, got wellingtons.
THEN OFF WE GO. and its damn cold. BLOODILY COLD.
took bus to the 1st site (river source) did measurements etc.
we had to go down the tiny stream, haha.
was marching with ben, playing ard, then harris accidentely hit my wrist till blueblack.
hmms, was hyper, jumped ard.
oh yeahs, i was grouped with esther, yunxuan and yangyu.
went to the next few.
it gets bigger and bigger, current gets stronger and stronger.
HAHA, and the water is ICY COLD.
something stupid happened at the... 3rd site!
the water level increased quite a lot.
i think its lil new castle.
so, i finished doing th measurements then ran over to the deeper site (other grp)
and water got into my wellings, its damn cold.
my feet was numb so i ran to land (MUD!) and took of my wellings,
haha, so my socks were dirty.
later mr phoon suggested i go and seat on the rock (in the river?) and pour water n wash socks.
so i did, and i ran ard somemore, played ard. water got in again.
this time, i nv go to the rock, i stood up and pull my wellings out.
but since the water is cold, it contracted.
so i had to use force.
law, jinyan they all playing some games.
so i pulled so hard, it flew, and the current sweeped it away.
lucky joel seet got it, and threw back.
IT FLEW OVER MY HEAD AND THE WATER SPLASHED KOHYU.
AHAHAHHAHA. couldnt stop laughing then.
went up bus, change to slippers and set off for the last station.
its like a canal but it aint, did measurements again.
and haha, we use some net thingy to catch living things in it.
took grp photo, went up coach,
i cannot when we had lunch.
packed lunch and went to a field to eat.
i made 7 pieces of bread but no appetite
HAHA, AND THE DOG ATTACKS xD
i screamed straight into the poor dog xDD
walked back up up up to Dale Fort.
and i was amused by the cows, horses, sheeps i see.
had dinner, got dessert but a lot of us missed it.
hmms, ate cup noodles at the cliff, the wind was rly cold.
was chatting with yangyu about the beautiful scenery...
went back and slept on top

NEXT DAY- 2nd day of course
woke up late also, was trying to drop bombs( pillow and blanket) on esther.
but was exposed =/
had lessons on coastal studies.
collected equipments and waterproofs, went for practical.
walked down Dale Fort n took coach there.
THE SCENERY WAS AMAZING LA.
i love running up and down rocks.
mr phoon made me start looking for pretty rocks,
then nv rly do the data thingy.
the wind was strong, can lean against it ( limited though)
had lunch, packed lunch from morning, ate the day before's coz cannot finish.
hmms, went to the other side, was going against the damn strong wind.
did data etc, ran nearer to the sea (its abt 8m away)
played, drew circles ;]
hmms, went back still got lessons.
and i keep injuring myself =/
mr phoon wanted to sabo me to present geog but i changed grp to hist xD
later go common room playing table soccer.
teamed with benjamin.
TABLE SOCCER ROCKS!
i play until i sprained my wrist.
slept later.

NEXT DAY- 3rd day of course
couldnt get outta my bed =/
had lessons for Saltmarsh, natural veg.
collected equipments n took mini van down.
theres this metal thingy, and i hit myself accidentely with that -___-
while waiting for the other half to reach the shore,
we found a ball, so we played floorball with the metre rulers until carolyn came.
walked into saltmarsh, reminds me of nature rumble.
law disturbed, then i fell on my stomach, it hit some hard mud??
it was cold, as usual, AND HAHA later, law fell too.
was pissed off coz of some stuff.
i finally talked with 'smoke' coming out from mouth.
damn happy.
went back Dale Fort, washed waterproofs.
keep running from the tap to drying room with aaron.
LOL, LIKE FLYING KITES!
went back to room, went high with yunxuan, yangyu and esther.
i did some lame stuff, vids tml too.
then went for lessons, played in classroom!
and omg, mr phoon actually draws! hahas.
then showed photos carolyn taken, i often appear in bgs.
had dinner, then there was som water drinking contest.
Ashdown House School kids were outside,
then went high with em, there;s this cute boy who asked me for hugs xDD
then chatted with a singaporean.
then yy wan see guy's room so i went with her to aaron's room.
keep whacking aaron there, while yangyu and gabriel went into their own world..
look forward to vids and photograph.
i wanted to leave, but i couldnt find the way out.
norio and kohyu just stood there and laugh at me -___-
later, went for photo taking at the cliff there,
started throwing rocks...
went to common room, but sian so went to the cliff with esther n yy.
chatted and gossiped a lot
we were shouting, and the feeling is damn great.
talked under the stars, later went back room.
suddenly law they all came.
then room check, a lot of things happend.

NEXT DAY- Bye Dale Fort; Hi Stratford!
was called to library and scolded.
those idiotic assholes. its not whom you think it is.
walked down Dale Fort.
Boarded bus.
yy slept on bus and ben put paper inside, and i suggested putting sour sweet inside his mouth.
effects were funny.
went to Roman Bath, what a pretty place~
had lunch, then went to Youth Hostel in Stratford( where i blogged)
had dinner, reflection.
ate cup noodles then went to lounge, played 4 in a row and table soccer.
went up room.
me, yy and esther turned our room into fortress,
chatted before sleeping again.

NEXT DAY- LONDON!
went to anne hathaway's hse and shakespeare's birthplace.
lazy elaborate...
had lunch. then slept.
ben keep disturbing so i scolded him,
and im a dino -__-
he asked others to keep quiet coz i'll eat him if he disturb my sleep.
ate chips and he said im having appetizers
Reached Youth Hostel, then fire alarm went off.
gathered at assembly area then tot got fire.
instead, an ice cream truck came.
SUPER ANTI-CLIMAX.
and it was a false alarm anw.
no appetite with dinner.
played truth or truth with yangyu, benjamin, siti, kohyu and aaron.
then later went up room...
slept while talking...

NEXT DAY- 2nd last day
had diff. waking up xD
went for breakfast then the London tour.
we saw a bride n groom, last yr also
watched soldiers march etc,
im getting lazy, so no elaboration.
went chinatown for lunch, wasted food coz no appetite and huge servings.
saw a food elevator, and got a voodoo doll =]
went The Cabinet AND OMG, THERE's FLIMING.
law wanted to so be passerby.
went to mesuem, was sorta stuck there...
later went shopping, but nth to shop.
left yy and gab at Rainforest
thn me, esther, kohyu and sean went ard.
rotted outside royal academy of arts xDD
then later went arcade.
was dared to sit on the streets outside starbucks and i did =D
we took train back to hostel.
AND WAHA, AARON FEARS ME.
then i rotted in room, sat at the window.
yes the blue thing and realised can jump down.
washed up and went down for cup noodles coz we didnt have dinner.
was too tired then went back to room, chatted then slept.
i keep thinking someone knocked our door.
fell asleep when me n esther waiting for yy to return for toilet.

NEXT DAY; THE LAST DAY =/
took sme time to wak up again.
damn sleepy, my phone played Once upon a broken heart =/
had breakfast and realised i was way too naive.
went to visit church and went to the meridian museum.
it was hard to get up coz it was damn steep.
when going down, it seems that there's a dog but i cant see it.
i turned ard, saw it, and screamed.
went down to have lunch.
had pizzas,
its for 50 ppl!
gabriel slept on the train, he damn sensitive.
yy poke his hair he wake out alrdy.
went to War museum, holocaust(sp err.) was rly horrid.
travelled to convent garden. the lift damn big.
shopped, nth much. but i rly have a bad sense of direction.
saw a fake statue, got scared by it.
~~i cannot diff. real humans and wax figurines now.~~
took train back YHA.
got our luggage and took bus to airport.
was harassed by Benjamin coz of the Free Hugs shirt.
mr phoon and eric also disturb me.
checked in, i was damn unlucky.
a body check was done on me coz the machine beeped.
then very troublesome, coz the guy asked us if we travel in grp blahs.
then needa take off shoes..
bought chocos, walked ard.
had spagetti for dinner, esther asked for 26 cokes!
lazy explain, guess she will explain...
my guess for the gate for correct =D
boarded plane and slept for lik 8-9 hours.
yangyou and esther slept the same way!
cuiling took photos!
totally nv eat...
there was a lot of TURBULENCE AND IT ROCKED TOTALLY.
hmms, mum and grandma lied that they were at home...
went home, packed stuff.
and omg, hw, sjab, anco.
RAWRRRRRRR.

and i realised some things...
at the same time, im freaked out

~a lil stuffy back in singapore,
but wahah, it;ll only take a while!!
too lazy to add in details.
this is diff from other overseas trip,
i don't exactly miss the place etc,
but i rly enjoyed it.

blog post from UK =)

2008-06-07T15:26:00.002+08:00

hey ppl.
IM NOT IN SINGAPORE SO DONT SMS OR CALL ME
im posting from Youth Hostel, stratford.
i wonder who was that ~~idiot~~ person who called me when i was up in Dale Fort!
slept well yest with esther n yangyu,
we literally turn our bedroom into some fortress!
okays, esther is waiting to use the comp.
i will update when i reach home.
clever me has alrdy recorded everything down in point form in my phone,
as drafts =)
I LOVE DALE FORTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
and some things are really REALLY freaking me out.
i've bought something for nc2/4
WAHAHHA! ~~and its smelly~~
i was in Wales the past 3 days 4 nights.
now im in Bath, visited roman bath yesterday.
what a preeeeeetty place.
im going over to shakespear's birthplace and his wife's house.
LOL.
staying in london for the next few days.
TABLE SOCCER IS DAMN DAMN FUN!
i sprained my hand xD

blogging again if i get the internet access =D

uk trip

2008-06-02T05:30:00.002+08:00

im gonna leave the house soon,
have been crying and crying for who knows what reasons...
the bond has become so strong i guess.
i usually don't, during camps and trips.
this time is special.
i will miss you guys (nc2 and all)
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *Sob*

NC2, aka NC4

2008-06-01T23:08:00.008+08:00

this morning, no alarm!!
lucky mum called me to ask if i call her then i woke up =)
planned to wake up 1 hour earlier, iron uniform etc
but woke up late, then i chiong xDD
went down, kopitiam damn empty.
bought sandwiches.
nc2 all dont like the tuna! NOT NICE!
hahas, then gel, bun hair.
then take bus to 'camp' in golden mile complex.
changed, gave Nc2 letters =)
yeahs, thats what i tried to do yesterday,
and gave up, threw paper away, then finally wrote again.
i actually planned what to write but nv rly follow anyway.
hope it boost their morale.
went to holding room.
take tag. i got Nc4, sgt lydia's team is Nc5 again.
go out fall in for uniform inspection.
when giving command, i go out of tone -____-
our steward's from holy. we call her Banana.
i pity her la, kena bullied by my team ppl xDD
nvm, you know wad i mean ^^
Hmms, went for first aid case first.
in front alrdy bad, coz we dunno if need to march in or not.
hahas, then the sir damn nice la.
the case is, you guys are at a hawker center then you see this commotion.
Cleared the knife, then proceeded.
the conscious one got stab wound and and... errr, scald on his face i guess.
the other one, i dunno if its raccoon eyes but she choked.(unconscious)
we keep shouting, passing info ard.
i cannot touch casualty coz i nv wear gloves and tehy are so BLOODY.
OMG I SHLD SAY THAT. as in i've forgotten -___-
then got fake blood. I FORGOT ASK THEM TO NOT TOUCH THE BLOOD T___T
then i kneel on the blood. and i almost slipped twice.
the judge kept saying very good, very good.
fainting treated wrongly, but i say sit up coz expand lungs xDD
then the judge, dunno experienced or wad, was telling me nicely.
ambulance has arrived. packed up and i went to report.
report till halfway, he sorta asked me to stop and said its enough.
HE LET ME CIRCLE THE CASUALTY REPORT GENDER THING!
he keep saying very good very good.
hahas, i a bit not happy coz haven finish reporting.
so i asked him to allow me to do so.
Finished reporting =D and he is damn nice.
when go out, staircase there, we were damn noisy.
After some time, went for footdrill.
GABRA LIKE SIAO. but the judge also very nice.
got this boundary thing, use the white and red plastic.
and i get illusions(?) and was not able to gauge how far is it from me.
then banging was horrid etc.
but we picked up fast =D
i rly wanna cry after that. coz i rly gabra.
Home Nursing!
DIABETES! LIKE OMG! EASY! but a lot of things to do.
did wad we could, cramp some stuff in if possible.
and we didnt finish in the time limit.
go back slip.
later move chairs, blahs and blahs.
BANANA CALLED ME SHORT! RAAAWR!
go for prize ceremony.
oh yeahs, HQ ACTUALLY HAVE THE HALL'S AIRCON ON!
omg. i was under aircon, and it was sorta dripping a few drops of water.
and congratulations AC1!! AC2! MUST WORK HARDER ALRIGHTY?
my leg hurts a lot. when sir lee came and ask, can?
i rly wanna cry coz i thought we did badly.
never get anything for footdrill,
then first aid, no 3rd, whole team sian.
then later, 1st runner-up, NC4
I WAS LIKE STUN then shriek OH MY GOD.
then marched up. HHAA.
my leg was totally numb!
i almost marched with same hands n legs coz i was rly shocked.
hahas, then i stun at the prize giver like i did in kindergarden!
i walked straight, i almost fell down the platform, lucky i got look down.
i was omg-ing all the way.
home nursing, we tot we did ok. so was quite disappointed.
later when dismissed, I totally broke down.
jacelyn too. i think some ppl think we too sad.
but its tears of joy!
OMG. then see our marks.
go down get bags, changed.
gave mam sh our gift as planned.
sang You are my sunshine.
but we sorta failed coz nv make her cry xD
went to eat at err, where's that place?
damn hungry. me and jacelyn keep eating..
go the gachapon or whatever it is called.
the capsule machines i guess.
then got this torch light thing, i find it quite cool.
its something like vii's.
you shine then got photo.
shar wants the jay chou one, so i wanted to play and try my luck.
thent tio rain, later puiyee try, tom cruise.
more ppl joined in then get rain and tom cruise again.
DAMN FUNNY.
we were making a lot of noise,
ppl were staring but who cares.
i love hugging, gluing to sharmine.
i like i glue to ppl who are bony xDD
then went home.
on the way, keep laughing like some mad woman.
and a lot la.
came home, havent pack =/
~~and sir jh and mam grace RLY LOOK LIKE A COUPLE~~

NC2/4, we did well. we had only 2 weeks to train. its not that we did badly, not being able to get more trophies. Its just that other teams are way stronger. We already did very well =)
Footdrill: 39/50 (OH MY GOD?! i tot we just pass or smth)
Home Nursing: 224/350 ( the top 3 teams must be rly strong AND WE PASSED! WOOOTS)
First Aid: 130/150 ( HAHA. was shocked. a lot of things i missed out. AND WE GOT 2nd FOR THIS CATEGORYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY)

may we get together, again, next year and win more trophies =D
i love you guys a lot a lot

im going UK tml
NOTE: I WILL BE BACK ON 10JUNE.
i dun feel like going leis.
sian... i come back still got tons of homework and theres anco( 2 days. no fun =/)
i regret wanting to go UK when i could've used the time to rest super well n do my hw.
SAD LA.
if only i could back out..
maybe im not sad coz i cannot rest coz i know i wanna cry only.
maybe its another case of lagged feelings. ( from fac)
im feeling better, thanks yangyu.
I WILL MISS YOU GUYS. MWACKS.

I CANT BEAR TO SLEEP!

i confess

2008-05-31T20:10:00.000+08:00

im DAMN DAMN DAMN lazy =/
NO, I HAVE TO FORCE MYSELF.
TO FINISH WHAT I'VE SPEND TIME PLANNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

last trg for FAC

2008-05-31T12:57:00.003+08:00

this morning, damn tired.
my eye sorta swell, but after usinbg eyemo, bettter
trained fd, then went to canteen to talk.
starting its about the mock fac.
all were shock that we actually did ok for FA.
i thought it was totally screwed.
and yays, we passed home nursing!
footdrill... im still not loud enough.
lols. then later, jacelyn sharmine and amanda,
talked about those stuff -___-
lols. then mam sh kena molested xDD
well. sorta.
then trained a bit of fd again,
scouts all ard.
funny la. then we nv do well.
sir lee saw it, then after some time,
he came over and asked us to do our best etc.
i wonder if he has given up hope on us.
either way, its good.
hmms, i have to pack my stuff TODAY.
waaaa, i dun wanna fly =///
im always having this feelings before camps/trips

FAC is tomorrow.
i don't know if i shld be happy,
that FAC is FINALLY over.
or sad that it is over.
hahas. hard.

so so much to express but i cant

2008-05-30T20:13:00.002+08:00

=/
my eye still hurts =/

bsdgksnbdklsn;lxa

2008-05-29T17:42:00.005+08:00

OKAYS.
i realise fear overcomes me at night =/
was talking to ben last night about FAC stuff.
he was saying whole Ac1 and Ac2 gonna be botaks after tml;(today) trg!!
OMG OMG! look forward to it ppl!
HAHAHA
never rly sleep well, woke up early...
went to sch, saw jacelyn.
did footdrill, changed format a lil.
and DAMN IT, MY LEG T___T
cannot bang... SOBS..
then later did cases, then just before starting, sir lee came.
but ok la, went for lunch later..
while in tiong park, did jadigan squad.
TOTALLY BLOCK PATHMENT.
DAMN FUN LA xDD
i wanna do it again.
hmms, nth much...
went back... did case? or dunno wad.
wait, used finger, dig in kiwi, and coated boots.
did some first aid.
when intestines etc came out right,
must fold then squeeze back.
no, im serious.
yes im joking.
then did case.
the case... was the my first case... as casualty xDD
then ride mam jasmine's bike.
its tall... so... errr...
i cannot climb up =/
but i didnt give up!
managed to ride but edward keep disturbing me.
its like wtf, i cannot touch the ground alrdy!
HAHA, thanks shar n amanda for supporting the bike xDD
in the end cannot ride =/
edward la. ~~*stabs voodoo doll*~~
then came back.
hais, i think i polish boots and all tml.
today i just wanna rest well...
hope results are good for mock =)

insomia

2008-05-29T08:00:00.002+08:00

i couldnt sleep last night =/
then woke up like 7+, have about 2 hours plus before trg.
gonna study home nursing.
and omg, so cold.
and im coughing!
*BANGS WALL*

OVERDOSAGE OF COUNTERPAIN XD

2008-05-28T18:37:00.005+08:00

alrighty.
when going to sch, met sharmine~~(aka molester)~~
so yeaps. saw mr lim!
I DONT DARE TO GO ARENA!
he even go talk to Jacelyn.
then i called Jacelyn and found out.
hahas, then run here and there, and i've decided to face it ONCE AND FOR ALL!
LOLS! then he didnt scold me.
i shldnt have said i'll do all the hw =X
kks, did footdrill then break.
a bit of FA THEN RAIN!
did cases, ordered mac.
took 2 hours(?) to come.
kept complaining and playing ard.
and misunderstandings occured -____-
tricked by yy xD
coz i was rly whining abt the food.
yy wanna stuff fries into my nose =C
kkays, then later did FD,
went to canteen, damn slippery.
~~played concentrationw/ mam sh~~
did a bit on home nursing.
then did 2 formats before going back.
I CANNOT RMB THE TUKAH COMMAND!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAWR RAWRRRRR!
then the last two totally screwed.
but banging still there,
more of familarising format.
strained my leg =(
walked till halfway, jacelyn took taxi.
so i went on with her, drop off at tiong.
went to get choc milk tea. shiok!
hmms nth much.
came home, ate a lil, then apply counterpain on legs and shoulders.
HAHA. THEN DAMN hot la.
HOT then COLD.
maybe expand skin then contract back xD
haha. then feet hurts, old injury =/
my palms are cold (counterpain -___-)
now i know why Jacelyn loves footdrill.
IT ROCKS MAN! so shiok!

To NC2:
we have only one day to mock FAC. yeahs, i know we are all very bothered and worried ( i guess since we cannot sleep well, keep thinkin abt FA and HN, mayb even in dreams like me)

( OFF TOPIC: some idiots with benjamin called me and pretend to be EK and Isaac asking for jy and yy. obviously i scolded them. HAHA. well, not rly la. IM NOT AND IDIOT OK. BUT HAHA. IT WAS FUN!!! like so obvious those ppl talking are pinching their noses!)

The days that are left for us to train, lets give our all.
Just imagine, after comp....
No more footdrill format.
No more First Aid Cases.
No more Home Nursing Cases.
No more FAC trg.
sad right? *wipes tears*
HAHA, SO LETS GIVE OUR BEEEEEEEEEEEEST!
WE CAN DO IT!
***** DONT FALL SICK! YOU CANNOT OFFER TO!!!!
now for some dedications
AMANDA: my dear number 2! you are one of the stable ones to help keep everyone calm. And hahas, your compressions are good. rmb today, i compressed dummy's chest when you giving resue breath? it made a farting sound but HAHAS. it was fun =)
JACELYN: THE MOST ENTHU ONE! I will nv forget you, making me run and run! Hahas, you've been doing well and improving. Good Job! You are getting more stable but being even more stable and calm would be good. I am damn impressed by you, finding and researching home nursing stuff!
SHARMINE: The girl that molested me! How dare you! you've rly put in effort and find out more info on your job. Number 4 IS IMPORTANT! That one i've to compliment you. I can see all of your efforts, as well as Jacelyn's and Amanda's! Continue to work hard =D
THE REST OF NC2: I know our team has too much members and 3 can rly participate in the comp. But I know you guys also had sacrificed your time to come down. I appreciate it =) you guys are important too! OUR CASUALTIES! I suppose you guys are professional casualties now =) thanks!

I feel like im rly crapping but oh well,
I've enjoyed myself during trg with company of you guys.
=D
from zero to hero =)
rmb, if we get top 3 overall...
HEHEHE. yes, you are suppose to start laughing like i did

OMG! ANI ON THE PHONE.
i missed her so much!
awwwwwwww. i was thinking about her when on the bus.
AND OMG I DEJA-VU just now.
its becoming common these days.
just make me dream w get champ overall then deja vu.
HOW GOOD xD

it runs deep

2008-05-27T19:30:00.003+08:00

hmmms, had a pretty good sleep i guess.
missed the bus -___- then reach HQ just in time.
did footdrill.
fought with fighter planes (oh well)
had FA cases.
went for lunch.
knew something shocking xDD (amandaaaaa~)
yes amanda can be very fierce xD
on the bus, sharmine sleep until very happy.
hahas. everyone looked at her, ask me take photo but i didnt. (nice right?)
i was trying to sleep. then ek and ben keep disturbing me indirectly -___-
went back school for home nursing.
omg we nv kena scolded!
cleared our doubts.
went for FA cases then home nursing again.
thanks huilin for the marshmellows =D
ahhhh, sian, i haven pack!
I DUN WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
maths and that rabbit. HAIyo.
headache.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz _____________________-
think i killed my tongue, hurts when in contact with water

oh man.

2008-05-26T18:29:00.007+08:00

im sick.
YES im sick.
argh... didnt go for maths lessons.
took bus 16 in the morning, haha just right.
later sharmine smsed me, and told me indirectly that she sees me.
she made my day =)
hahas. then see damai train then we purposely go do fd.
sorta screwed it coz nv warm up and such.
went to do home nursing, sorta played ard =X
mam peiru nv come...
then went army market for lunch.
went back for FA.
took bus home, sharmine was tired.
she slept on my shoulder.
since its pretty round, she slowly slipped off my shoulder.
and i adjusted to prevent her head from dropping xD
in the end i lie on her head.
HAHA, useful.
was tired but didnt sleep.
smsing all the way.
hmms, I CAN PLAY CABAL!
but must switch to another harddisk.
dunno how to say but the things are diff.
and ~~ITS STUPIDLY IN CHINESE~~
hard to get used.
i will used this errr, window?
for gaming and the other for other stuff..
.but i have this feeling i'll be too lazy to do so...
eeeek, im sick, and those emotions are coming back.
Im getting lazier.
up for a while, and im going down again.
But i will make myself get ready, physically and emotionally for comp.
NC2 Will pwn those schools!
NC2 WILL be in overall top 3!
i wanna go for the UK trip happily,
not as screwed like batam trip is.

nothing's gonna change my mind

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you .i wish i have the chance to blast it all out into youur bloody face like in my dream. i havent forgotten, during batam trip. you fucking think im an idiot to not know your precious sneaked in? im no idiot you fucker. i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you HAHA dont you guys feel honoured?

my stupid nose.
and i got one stupid cut on my finger and it hurts a lot.
sian, i dunno what to do abt the maths thing
and thanks benjamin!
for listening to my rants xD
arghh.. was talking to yy.
same problems.
gaaaaaaaaaah.
mr phoon better allow the change of groups,
or lifes will be lost.

im tired... but i HAVE TO hang on..

2008-05-25T17:09:00.006+08:00

went for trg as usual.
did footdrill, keep making mistakes.
had cases, some stuff happened, yeahs.
i got molested T____T
released earlier.
came home, feels weird.
everyone is like sad today...
im really tired of everything...
maybe im gonna heck everything after FAC alrdy.
hais, maths lessons, most prob i gonna skip it,
since mr lim say he gonna have make-up lessons
AIYA, I DONT KNOW LA.
and im down again, yeahs, this cycle has been repeating and repeating...
i just wonder, how long it'll take.its gonna be 4 months in a week or so...and it seems that nothing... has changed.it has been very painful for me, to see those things...trying to sort out my emotions and thoughts,trying to remind myself of what is right...and telling myself, facing it...that everything...is.over.
if i don't say anything, it doesnt mean i'm alright with it. you'd never know what stupid things i've tried to do. and some things will never be known.

Nc2, stand up! Just try your best and cheer up !

and i dreamt of you

2008-05-24T19:26:00.004+08:00

last night.
chatted with yueyoong and jacelyn
went to sleep later.
dreams... hais, i cannot rly rmb it but it wasnt good.
woke up, emptiness filled me.
it's been gone for... about... nearly 2months or more.
and its back. shows that it went into hiding.
met yl then went to hq.
nth much.
ksj die le.
went to eat.
ate a lot a lot.
went back hq do case..
jacelyn died so 1 person to 1 casualty.
totally screwed up and all.
but next case was better.
tried home nursing.
totally screwed also.
lots of room for imrpovemnts.
mayb its me who nv plan properly...
took bus back. chatted with sharmine as usual.
this is so horrible =/

NC2!

2008-05-23T20:06:00.007+08:00

today was fun.
el lessons were boring... damn sleepy.
pe. played a bit of basketball.
dunno who's elbow hit my err, chin -___-
then play soccer with 3g guys.
HAHA. i managed to dunno how, tackle and got the ball.
HAHAs. but other guys joined in dun need play le.
amaths was okok. mr lim asked me if im super busy durin hols.
so i told him the truth. i dun wanna miss maths lessons.
but i wanna give my all for FAC.
i wanna go for UK happily!
yay. sean agreed to change grp.
took report book.
like shit la. nvm.
celebrated june babies birthdays.
HAHAHHAA.chocococococo!
then went down meet nc2.
went to ljs to eat.
now then i know, jacelyn and sharmine are damn clever!
i saw their report books.
hmms, went for trg. first aid stuff.
saw maris stella. haha i dun wanna elaborate.
the very last case of the day was sorta bad in my pov.
but there's a lot of room for improvements =)
whacked sharmine coz she chilled me.
chatted with her on way back. no motion sickness xD
sian; tml KSJ.
eek rashes!
IM ITCHING ALL OVER T____T

To NC2:
although we didnt train together for months, only weeks, we got along pretty well over time. I know you guys sacrificed your precious time and the GESS carnival just for FAC. I believe you wouldnt want your efforts to go down the drain right? We have one week, the crucial week, before FAC. Let's give our best yeahs =D All of you are good in your own ways. I can see you've been improving and improving, but we shldnt be contented just by that. There's still lots of room for improvements =) Remember the first case we did? Hahas, it was pathetic, isnt it? Let's prove those people ,who think our beloved friends are lousy, ( the ac2 thing. i only knew it today -___-) wrong! I definitely had fun training with you guys =D wait, i sound as if the comp. is over xDD
well, take care and rest well guys!
we have to be up and prepared for the FAC, coming super soon!
i think we shld also plan our targets, so we have the motivation and drive to work hard and pwn other schools!

fac is all i think about now. there is no time for other things although it keeps affecting me now and then.

and oh great; IM SO DEAD! my mum asked me for my report book.
SOBS. i shld at least live until FAC is over xD
my speaker's dead and i have to listen to songs from my phone.
SAD RIGHT. no, [not (not not left)]!
the last thing i would want to happen are conflicts in UK.

did some online tarot. long time. yeahs.
then ITS DAMN POSITIVE.
i did a few diff ones. and all have a common point which is.
something/someone good is coming along and gonna make some changes.
BWEEEEEEEEEE.

ending.

2008-05-22T19:06:00.008+08:00

okays.
yesterday watched tv then sleep.
this morn, even more tired.
yeahs, went to sch etc etc.
bio lessons, watched dunno wad movie.
it seems interesting but i cannot watch it coz im too tired.
chinese, went tiong park. suppose to do some descriptive essay.
end up playing ard.
i found my friends =)
ben and yy DAMN DAMN lame. they played chess and badminton
hmms, went back in.
emaths was nth much. damn damn tired.
recess, ate. AND TEH RICE IS LIKE SO LIL! I AT LEAST NEED TO HAVE TWO PLATES!
hmms, whats next. cannot rmb T___T
el was... ok-ok.
did some introduction blahs. rly wanna sleep.
chem, was damn sleepy alrdy.
but cannot sleep.
crapped with yy. i was literally a jellyfish, no backbone de, keep leaning on her.
got class photos.
the nicest one from past 2 yrs.
assembly was alright.
one of the puppets REMINDS ME OF OTANI!
be it be his hairstyle, clothing, errr behaviour?
went for UK briefing.
lunch is like sandwiches etc.
I CONFIRM DIE! ITS NOT ENUFF FOR MY LUNCH T___T
planning to change groups and rooms
i dont know what some idiots are up to!
cliffys(cliffhangers) are not fun!
zzz my phrasing.
went for trg.
got walkaton cards -___-
did case, wasnt rly well done in my pov =/
need lots of improvements.
then spend rest of the time on fd.
cannot rly concentrate and my throat hurts.
well, sorta.
ppl keep coming out, upstairs and looking.
stressed but oh well.
was shouting command, then accidentely bite my cheek.
then i was like BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH OUCH!
damn painful. its like, lots of dead cheek cells.
and i tore it? LOL i dunno how to say but oh wells.
IT HURTS.
went back, damn tired.
it drizzled. lucky i got home 1st.
ate, not enough. coz im DAMN HUNGRY NOW.
tml going HQ for trg.
improvements rly needed a lot a lot.
1 week to comp.
1 week to UK trip.
SIANS.
i wonder how will i find the time to pack for UK.
and oh, i have like 1 week plus for hols.
so much hol hw.
and i have plans ^^
hais. busy busy busy and more busy.

FAC. NOOOOOO~
UK TRIP. =/
ANCO. NOOOOOOO~
FDC. NOOOOO~!

i have to shout louder and louder and louder
hopes all goes well *prays*
ANyway, did you guys see the balloon flying ard during morning assembly xD
i seem to not know you anymore. it feels like this episode has ended; reaching its end. everything, those memories the past 2 years. i doubt you remember it. these days, i can see you and not know who you are... literally... and i've so much too say.
observed and realise some stuff.
neither good or bad.

3day's posts?

2008-05-21T21:01:00.003+08:00

something bad happened on monday night.
i pity my small bolster.
tuesday
cannot rmb what happened.
lessons were ok i guess.
was super tired, i have no idea why.
geog, kena bullied by jinyan and sharon.
sharon keep poking flower (from ava or whatever the room its called)
into my hair.
RAWR. was sitting beside jinyan. so yups, ~~harassed~~ my beloved jinyan
trg... what happened.
cannot rmb.
i think we did cases.
oh yeahs, sir lee came down.
scary. he scolded benjamin and i tot he gonna scold me.
dismissed quite late.
yest cannot online. mum don't let.
so slept pretty early.
wednesday aka today
this morning very tired, too.
then its like, for bio lessons, we did the green audit thingy
starting is a bit serious, then later we n yy keep playing.
we got a pet named petpet (tape xD)
upload pic next time.
hmms, was kicking it ard.
actually nothing much today.
didnt go for pet rocket, went trg.
OH YEAHS, stupid jinyan and sharon push me to libin.
almost bump into him. ZZZ.
nvm.
trg was okok.
did format (still haven do a full one)
and FA cases. hahas, i took 2 roles.
but not very bad.
jacelyn made me run 5 rounds.
i was hungry and all.
so i felt ultra giddy when doing pushups.
omg, my physical is damn bad.
yeahs. cannot online nor use comp for lots of time.
so yeahs.
tata

what a wonderful dream!

2008-05-19T10:29:00.003+08:00

yeahs gonna elaborate on my title.
dreamt of scolding someone, literally shouting, until she cried.
it feels good to have everything out, and i wonder if i rly did shout.
someone apologized again, same person as last time, gave me food @.@
but i ate the food and scolded him though @___@
whatevers.
no one at home,
gonna use my time to max to rest well today.
tml trg. AND OH SHIT I HAVEN DO MATHS HW.
haha heck.
-
watching the parts of lovely complex not covered in the movie
awww. ohtani's so sweet x)
hahahaa. im a girl afterall.
HAHA. its a rly nice series.
UMIBOZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU xD

i feel useless =(

2008-05-18T15:18:00.006+08:00

this morning sucks too =(
anw, went to hq.
then had trg.
tried out format.
did homenursing.
screwed the case totally.
went for lunch, mam sh came along.
chatted, shared cold jokes xD
went back hq left me, tx, sharmine and puiyee.
so mainly did bandages, hahas. damn fun.
played ard blahs.
took bus back. damn sleepy.
my mum had fever for a day or two or three alrdy.
im feeling feverish too...
maybe that explains those emotions. blehs.
zzzz. COASTAL SOMEMORE. COASTAL!
its rly trying to tempt me.
you said i could tell you what you've done wrong.how i wish i could, but the thing is i don't wanna talk to you.and there it goes, dumped and joining in the bottle of emotions, bottled.in my heart, my memories, you would ,never fail, be the 3rd_

finished watching Lovely Complex.
some stuff happened in the afternoon.
Teppei Koike keep acting cute, when he's not(sometimes)
i agree the movie is childish etc but HAHA, i find it cute.
esp the ending so sweet. esp when he.. (tiptoes xD)
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

tagged by estherrr

2008-05-18T15:06:00.002+08:00

1.what disappoints you the most?
`being lied to, keeping things from me

2.where will you go if someone sponsers you a tour ticket?
Japan/Korea

3.what's your favourite thing to do?
`rot, EAT, sleep, play... blahs

4.do you think money can buy happiness?
`LOL. dumb qns.

5.if you were given one dream to come true, what would it be?
`to dream of more dreams and fufil all my wishes (greedy)

6.do you believe you can survive without money?
`dumb qns. of course no.

7.what is your favourite line?
` i want food?

8.if you win $1 million, what would you do?
`get everything i want
' cosplay? xDD

9.is there anything that you did and regretted now?
`idk if i shld regret but OH WELL ¬.¬

10.list out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
'amazingly tall
'a very good friend
'can i give a bad point? (looks like fishcake and tempts me to bite her aka food)

11.what makes you happy?
`free from all burdens
`FOOD! DUH!

12.what type of person do you hate the most?
` LIARS
`backstabbers
those standard stuff ne?

13.where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
` HMMMS, still rotting at home?

14.what would you do to a person who has hurt you deeply?
` a lot. just that i cannot do it.

15.what do you think is the most important thing in your life?
`friends! duhhh! and fooooooood.

16.what do you do when you're alone?
`sleep
`rot on comp/phone
`imagining

17.if you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
`selfishness, to be more sociable

18.what do you think is the most important in a relationship?
`love. trust. willingness to give

19.what was the most unforgettable experience in school?
`its hard

20.what makes a perfect boyf/girlf to you?
`xDDD TALL, errr, hmms, humourous? caring and all. isnt it standard?

Instructions: Remove 1 qns from above and add in your personal qns,make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post.Notify them in their chatbox that she has/he has been tagged.
1.yueyoong
2.cheryl
3.cindy
4.lawrence
5.kaiching
6.sharmine
7.jacelyn
8.valerie

woke up; lost. once again.

2008-05-17T20:23:00.003+08:00

blahs. i don't like myself.
woke up at like 10+am
wanted to sleep more but scared overslept.
played comp.
hahas, go play Draw My Thing at iminlikewithyou.com
hmms, filed my stuff, went for trg.
I MISSED the bus. went down late so no chipsmore.
havin mild headaches, then bus stopped, yy,yl etc came up
then later gn and sh too.
next few stops, yq came up.
so qiao.
trg only got me and jacelyn.
sian lor, go try out format, did FA.
haha, me and jacelyn became casualty.
as usual. im the unconscious one...
jacelyn, being the conscious one, rly made things hard for nc1
HAHAHAS. first case i have asthma then unconscious, and right leg fracture.
jacelyn has heatstroke and injured elbow.
she very noisy, keep making a lot of noise, shouting like siao xD
lydia used my boots to immobilised my leg. HAHA..
hmms, next case me n jacelyn are father and son.
omg this time is rly havoc.
WE REALLY MADE A LOT A LOT OF NOISE.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
damn fun. but very bad...
went for HN, okok.
needa assign roles. T__T
anw, melissa tricked me into turning then whack me with the super dusty blanket!
EEEEEEEEE. hn room is now on 3rd floor!
NEEDA CLIMB ALL E WAY UP =//
it is still as dusty as usual.
hopes tml trg would be good.
ahhh, vesak day can rest before chionging another 2wks.
guess im not going for the photography convention =(

moth war

2008-05-17T11:01:00.003+08:00

i forget to blog this.
el lesson, ms tan came in, or wad it ss lesson
got moth, ms tan was damn scared.
then she ran ard the classroom like siao.
and was saying she gonna give merit points for the 'hero'
in the end, yeahs, win killed the moth and ben got it outta e class
first time a moth made such a commotion.
i was afraid the moth will come towards me, coz i HATE moths.
keep seeing 11:11 these days @_@
hope it aint true. *cough*
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmms, lala~lala~?
woke up totally errr, nvm.
been a long time, argh sian.
gonna have my lunch, rot a bit then file hn notes then go down earlier buy chipsmore.
been cravin for it for weeks.

bloody unlucky

2008-05-16T19:41:00.005+08:00

fine. back from trg.
kays, so yeaps standard stuff today.
had... err.. eng.
SS! I GOT 21/25!
WOOOTS, when my contextual sux and i crapped.
YAY FOR 2L5s
its the only err 'sub' im happy with. srsly.
a lot ppl got 20, 19, 18 ard there.
highest is 22... just one more damn mark.
i was stun when ms tan mentioned me while saying high scores.
YY TOO =D
HAHA, she totally gasped!
pe, played badminton, soccer!
YES, IM BACK TO STUPID MOVES =D
eek, nv hit billy's head. so clever for waaaaaaaad?
~~harassed~~ socialized with my dear stitchy.
hahas, long time since we played soccer xDD
hais, nv run much coz dun seem to be in good condition~~plain lazy~~
amaths, DUH i failed.
careless mistakes. 4subs fail.
haiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. ~~who cares~~
then nth much, bio was suppose to go through physics.
yes, i failed too... AND I PASSED MY PAPER1 THOUGH I TIKAM-ED
AHAHAHAH. and im nowhere near passing for whole paper xD
it was more of a free period. lots of ppl shed tears
while me n yy ran ard, err, playing?
switched identities etc etc
then went for uk briefing.
OMG im so so obssessed with pretty places.
just wanna study it in detail and love them
hahas, the rooming was ok.
the group *shakes head* ppl who went shld get what i mean.
AND I DONT WANT COASTAL. i get giddy from sea breezes (pathetic)
I Want err, river processes!
I WANT WATERFALLS! (is there?)
and the room, double deckers. i can neither sleep on top or below.
BOO HOO... my stupid phobia. nvm i sleep on the floor!
then blahs, went back to class, ate etc.
lessons was ok.
was writing down answers then drew a blackboard with ans in it.
then HAHA YANKUMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that posing for reporters thing ( references to Gokusen)
celebrate mr tay's bd.
i took the round choc (yummy) coz i was bloated.
went to change n all.
trg was quite okay.
did case in toilet xDD
hn was, as usual, boring.
AND TML PRACTICAL T___T
kays, gonna slack today.
file stuff inside a file, read through hn notes, and yeeeeeaaaaaaaaps.
and i totally see no point in apologies and forgiving when it makes no differences.
nah, just don't want you to be happy =)
hmms, hopes my mind cannot think, yeahs it aint alrdy =)
wooos, i know what i want.
guess i need another session of brainwashing and mind-cleanup pretty soon
forgive, is something i have thought of, but rejected

some random stuff on kc's blog

2008-05-15T20:11:00.002+08:00

YEAHS. HAHAH. saw it on kc's blog, i wanna do it too xD
SEEMS FUN!

1. {x} You have choked on your water before.
2. {x} You have tripped down the stairs before.
3. {x} You have walked into a door.
4. {x} You have pushed a door the wrong way.
5. { } You have walked into a wall.
6. { x} You have fallen going UP the stairs...
7. {x} You have jumped off something.
8. {x} You have been shocked.
9. {x} You have put metal/aluminum in the microwave/oven.
10. {x} Right after a commercial comes on you have forgotten the show you were watching.
11. {x} You have forgotten something that someone said.
12. { } Your friends/family call you blond.
13. { } You barely ever understand stuff/ jokes, or it takes a long time to figure them out.
14. { } You have been bleeding and not even noticed it.
15. { } You've worn something backwards/ in side out the whole day without knowing.
16. { } You have stuck a knife in a toaster before.
17. { } You have played with fire.
18. { } You have burned something because you forgot about it.
19. {x} You've burned yourself on a flat iron/curling iron.
20. {x} You had to write this down or use a calculator or use your fingers to figure out your answer.
Add up your points after you finish this, multiply by 5.
I'm 60% retarded. ONLY?!?!?!?

Girly
{x} I love at least one shade of pink.
{ } I don't like being messy.
{ } My belongings are organized.
{ } I don't like rock music.
{ } I like wearing accessories.
{ } Bright colors amaze me. (Woahhhhh~ o.o pretty!)
{ } I hate black.
{ } I go to the saloon once a week.
{ } I comb my hair almost all the time.
{x} I bring my phone with me everywhere.

Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 20% girly.

Boyish
{ } I wear baggy pants.
{x} I play video games.
{ } I listen to boy bands like My Chemical Romance, Yellowcard, Switch foot, etc.
{ } I like wearing jackets with hoods.
{x} I'm too lazy to do chores.
{ } I don't like shopping.
{x} I like to go bungee jumping.
{} I like being sweaty.
{ } I'm a big fan of marvel heroes.
{x} I barely wear perfume. ( I HATE EM! i hate strong ones.)

Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 40% boyish.

Nerdy
{ } I always carry a pen in my purse or pocket.
{ } I enjoy studying.
{x} I wear glasses.
{ } I'm a straight-A student.
{ } I've never skipped any class in my whole life.
{ } I like my shirt tucked in.
{ } My favorite subject is Science.
{} I enjoy reading books.
{x} My assignments are passed up on time.
{>} I correct people with their grammar. ( LOL! HALF!)

Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 25% nerdy.

Emo
{x} I love the color black.
{ } I always sit at the corner.
{x} One side of my hair is covering one of my eyes.
{x} I like listening to metal rock music.
{x} I have a lot of problems in my life.
{ } I'm not much of a loud person.
{ } I don't talk much.
{ } I don't have that much friends.
{ } I barely have fun.
{ } I barely go out with my folks or friends.

Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 40% emo.

Childish
{x} I am open to my parents.
{} I sleep with a stuff toy. ( I WANT ONE xDD)
{x} I watch cartoons.
{x} I don't like watching horror movies.
{X} I sleep with a night light. ( HAHA i dont like total darkness)
{ X} My parents are the ones who choose my outfit. ( ya la, i don't like it)
{ } I'm scared of roller coasters.
{ } I like being with my family relatives.
{ } I take bubble baths.
{ } I've ran around the house in my underwear. ( WHEN I WAS YOUNGER)

Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 50% childish. HHAHA.

Social
{HMMMS} A lot of people adore me.
{idk} I hang out with the coolest crew at school.
{ } My parents are loaded.
{can say so? } I get everything I want.
{ } I don't wear the same outfit twice.
{ } I always have the latest gadgets.
{ im short *cough* } I'm updated to the latest gossips.
{ } I don't like people blocking my way.
{x} I have a lot of friends.
{ } A lot of people look to me.

Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 25% Social.
expected xD

OMG 2 day's post!

2008-05-15T19:04:00.003+08:00

OMG I DIDNT TOUCH THE COMP YESTERDAY!
hahas, no, no good.

~~SATURDAY~~ ERRR, 15MAY (wed????)
coz i was freakin sick, rolling on room's bed and annoy teh crap outta her.
was thinking if i shld go trg...
but i went, with my stupid headache.
carried stacks of notes and dressing kits
ITS DAMN HEAVY!
but lucky i met AC2. SO HAHAHAS.
~~usage of available resources~~
jonhon nicely help me take it, coz i was holding on to my shoebag mah..
yeahs, on the trip, rly gonna puke.
coz my head was originally spinning like siao, and nausea(sp?) like siao alrdy.
yeahs, went hq. EVERYBODY WAS RDY.
then chiong to change.
mam sh gave the dino sweet.
HAHA, cute!
had fa theory stuff.
went dwn lecture rm, coz sir lee wanna talk.
so he was talking about Secret...
and he kept blabbering POSITIVE! MINDSET!
just like my dad after he watched Secret
plan trg times, did footdrill.
settled format. omg, damn fast. i was struggling the other time.
did fa case. i would say its sooooo much better than the "1st case"
but a lot of room for improvements
later went back, reached home like 8.
ate my dinner, slacked and slept early =)

TODAY!
so, i woke up, feeling so much better.
tidied my stuff etc, went to sch (DUH!)
yeahs, then hmmms, wad arh...
cannot rmb! OMG!
anw, went class... biology papers.
HAHAHAHA. omg. HAHAHAHAHA.
I TOPPED THE WHOLE CLASS!
only PWNED! but from the bottom.
HAHAHA, i wan pwned by 41 ppl.
HAHAHAHA. dun understand?
i scored the lowest =D
~~AND I FREAKIN HAPPY AND PROUD OF THAT~~
chinese, my listening compre full marks.
but guessed i changed my ans in otas X(
yeahs blahs, passed overall though.
kkays, went hyper while waiting for mr lim.
HAHA, made a lot a lot of noise.
shouting at benjamin and etc...
hahahahahs. WAH LAU EH.
emaths, ALMOST PASSED.
get it?!
recess, went down.
saw syu and sean. HAHA> I THINK SEAN IS SCARED OF MEEEEEE
=DDD AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!
yeahs, ate and stuff. sharon n jy tried to make it serious, make me serious*
coz i was damn happy. yeahs, then they started running away from me(bad luck)
so i go hug waihan lor.
xDD
runnning ard, disturbed my beloved stitchy.
hmms, eng, was okok lor.
watched army daze, totally wanna sleep.
it wasnt EXTREMELY funny afterall.
don't get it... then get chem results.
totally no mood to hyper.
totally die down...
then... assembly.
EI, THE BG I MAKE ONE OKAY?
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
yeahs, blaaaahs, blaaaahs.
went for trg, changed then see jacelyn eat kfc...
lols... then did fd.
tried format but i totally gabra!
then npcc practicing for POP i guess.
yeahs, then did fa, fa case.
HAHA i like doing CASE. DAMN FUN LA.
hahahahahas, so yeaps. did case.
YAY WE IMPROVED!
NC2 LET'S CONTINUE IMPROVINGGGG~
then discussed abt fa stuff.
actually can go home de, but jacelyn n sharmine insisted on pt.
i gave in =(
so actually she wanna run 10 rnds but reduced to 5.
waaa, i rly wanna die on e way, but the whole team running behind me.
T_________T
nvm, then did 30pushups 40 squat dunno wad, and 50 crunches.
then went home.
now im having headache.
AND LAVA, SEE LA, YOU MAKE ME THINK!
no, not the usual stuff. smth i didnt careeeed. well i used to, a while?
yesterday, felt happy coz of the COMPLETED FA CASE, some stuff, and i didnt touch e comp =3
hahas.
yeahs. getting headache.
and i nv reply sms yet.
so hahahas.
AHHAHAHAHAHAS
err... AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAS?

horrible

2008-05-13T19:05:00.004+08:00

ahh, im feeling rly horrible...
=/
from morning.
plus the super oily food my grandma cooked.
i cannot dun eat...
agrhhh...
cannot find someone who's trg time start the same as me.
=//
i fear tml's trg.
for now, i rly wanna die off.
i rly wanna vomit alrdy =///

UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~
IM GONNA CRY LARH
-
eeek, i vomited.
yeahs, and i feel better.
i knew it was too oily.
ate salmon just now...
last time i felt like this was when i ate too much mayonnaise tuna...
argh... still having headaches.
maybe gonna have 2nd round.
eeeeeeeeeeeek.
i hate oily stuff.
but thing is i felt sick from morning leis.

; WARNING: NEVER. EVER. TUNA OR SALMON ME. i'll bite your head off or drown you with vomitants.

and i realised vomiting standing up is easier coz help of gravity.
physics.
BLAHS.
and the 2 kind souls, esther n siti were tuna/salmon-ing me.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
vomited 3 times liaos.
i know its coming again =/

MATSU JUN

2008-05-13T17:16:00.008+08:00

HAHA. DON'T KILL MEEEEEEEE.
I JUST HAVE TO DO THIS SO SO SO MUCH

matsujun is loved xD

* After acting in the popular J-drama Kimi Wa Petto (Please Be My Pet), he was voted as the best celebrity you want as your pet.
* Oguri Shun got the role of Hanazawa Rui in Hana Yori Dango because Jun told producers that he would not play Domyouji if Shun didn’t get the role of Rui.
*A choreographer once made him cry. (bad bad choreographer!)
* Has a rack of clothes above his bed, as it’s ‘convenient’ to grab something instead of searching through his wardrobe ( which may have an endless depth).
(ROFL. totally pwns.)

credits?

i admit he looks horrid in hyd coz of the stupid hair xD
but in gokusen, he's damn damn damn cute laaaaaaaa
ahhh, when i go crazy.
my wallpaper will be full of matsu's face.
dun rly like the idea coz i dun like ppl staring at me
wait till i go crazy over yamapi.

you showed me how to cry; when you told me that everything was a lie...

2008-05-13T12:27:00.011+08:00

lols. no. its lyrics from Girl In Your Dreams.
it just popped up yesterday..
yesterday dad don't let me use comp coz weekday!
HE DONT LET ME GO WATCH MOVIE =/
like all the 2e' girls going laaaa...
everybody's like outside, having fun, celebrating the end of mye..
=/
was glued to psp. i play tekken till my palm got one small blister.
yes. power.
couldnt sit down and watch the whole show for both 8 and 9pm's
went to my room, and rotted. doodled on my sketchbook.
haha, time alone =)
realised i cannot accept the fact that everything was nothing but lies,
and i stupidly thought everything was real back then
also, you can never understand how one is feeling;
to put yourself in their shoes.
coz you are not them, and you can never feel how they feel.
unless you've been it before, but you may not even feel it.
the best is that when you are in the same situation as them.
nah, some stuff happend, like i was trying to comfort some ppl and got bitten.
drew some naruhina, but its nowhere near complete.
i also don't like it, maybe will get erased..
like those undesirable stuff, will be erased someday.
was thinking and thinking, barely sleep.
has been cursing and scolding, before i fell asleep.
its only recently, hahas, was also imagine, how good will it be,
if i really let it all out.
dont try to subt. ppl in as in assume you know who am i refering to.
coz you never know =)
'was tempted to dig out some stuff, i mean something for ages but didnt,
coz i was lazy? even to walk over to cupboard and take it out when its so obvious.
TO THE PERSON SLEEPING BESIDE ME: NO YOU DONT TRY THAT! yes i mean you! i know you are reading! DONT EVEN THINK OF IT!
-so much for yesterday.

today, totally sleepy =(
yeaps, i kept the lift open for that auntie and her cute daughter again.
its been some time, there's this period of time.
i see them almost everyday and they'll be in a rush.
her daughters are so adorable!
hahas, this auntie talked to me today!
DIDNT KNOW SHE KNOWS ME!
chatted with her. pssst im taller than her! *coughs*
she asked if im the older or younger one.
i turned and said im the younger one, and smiled.
then later i gasped and turned to her,
and exclaimed that i was the older one.
i was so blur la.
i almost fell down the stairs, leading to the road,
trip when entering the sch.
today's so gong la.
then took notes from jinyan.
hmmms, chem was easy =D
went to ask the auntie to help me photocopy HN notes.
$25.25! NICE LA! hahas, 10 sets thats why.
then went for bio, omg slightly harder only.
and i saw 2 ppl...
*cough*fish*cough*

HAHAS. then went to collect the stack of notes.
put a few sets in bag.
went to kfc with esther.
ate meltz, both me and her got damn sick of the taste.
then we chatted.
went down buy dressing kit.
watson's $1 more ex!
so i went guardian. check price, go watson.
esther walked the other way so she made me turn 2 rounds T__T
when i cannot find ppl, i will start turning rounds =(
squatted down and digged xDD
beside its gauze, keep slipping down.
then dig like siao got 8 only.
I AM TOTALLY LIKE IDIOT LA
then i was asking if there's anymore,
the salesgirl say no more.
LOL, i cleared their stock.
no more last time that blue one le, green colour. so ugly.
then went opp buy.
its diff packaging and its blue!
then its $1.22!
I STUN LA. $1 DIFF FROM GUARDIAN!
i panicked a bit then paid for it.
then its $2.10 =__=
abt the same price lor.
gonna claim money, will try.
and will collect money from nc2.
$2.55+$2.35= $5.90 ea
hahas, then carry one big plastic bag with dressing kits.
like idiot liddat.
me rly thank esther for ~~being my maid~~ helping me with all those stuff
and telling me can buy dressing kit opp guardian.
IF NOT I GUARANTEEN GO WATSON BUY LIAO!
hahas, she's like my mummy la. she says vii thinks so too xDD
then came home, walked with a big plastic bag and carried paper box cover xDD
eeeek, blender-mode.
tml trg at HQ. SIAN. I DAMN SCARED!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~
thinking abt sjab stuff will keep my mind away.
~~and omg, our whole squad pon fall-in~~
i dunno but i was told, no needa go.
keep seeing double digits again.

*inserts Someday's lyrics*
you can scroll down if you want xD
hais, i dont rly like it when ppl use your stuff, follows you.
but its like you want and you dont want.
very irritating, as in these type of emotions

GOKUSEN. omg. almost cried.
argh, am i growing deaf or what.
that irritating buzzing sound
wait, i found out my sis hears it too.
xDD
eek, finished Gokusen.
~~getting sick of it~~
behind the scenes no sub =(
watched 1/4 of the extras only.
omg im damn scared for tml!!!

there are some things which i rly cannot do

waaa, super long post.
tried to sleep but i cant
~~i drooled instead, well abit~~
body aching for days alrdy.
sian sian sian, fac trgs.
i scared until wanna die at this moment.
AHHHH

my beloved amaths textbook

2008-05-12T11:19:00.003+08:00

i love amaths but im not good in it.
last night on phone with lava, did some amaths
yes, i slept with my amaths text yest.
i scared i kill it so it slept beside my pillow.
cannot sleep coz keep thinkin abt fac stuff.
and maybe i overstuff-ed myself, stomach ache
then hugged my darling, OMG i feel sleepy.
later i put back. WAHLAO, not sleepy le.
fell asleep somehow.
woke up, went to sch earlier.
my shirt like cannot tuck it de la.
RAWR.
then yeahs, super high~
started laughing and telling ppl abt my amaths textbook.
chatted with stitchy, HE said he has grown taller.
what nonsense xD
hahas, then mr lim keep laughing in the morning la.
damn scary, as if paper gonna be super hard.
today, came prepared. 3 packs of tissue papers.
lava stole one.
early in the morning in class i was doing a lot of stupid stuff,
making a lot of noises xD while ppl keep studying amaths.
then during amaths test, keep getting sleepier and sleepier.
wth.
but i did all.
hahas, i do till damn shiok la.
can do all qns(no blanks) but some cannot get answer.
like wth. BUT I ENJOYED DOING IT!
the paper was okok la xD
hahas, after paper still v high.
I USED 10 PIECES OF PAPER xDD
one qns one page, then some strike out whole page.
IM DAMN HAPPY, I USED 10 PIECES OF PAPER.
I LOOK FORWARD TO BREAKING MY RECORD!
went mac with esther, evelyn went home.
later vii, brenda, ben they all came.
haha, so funny la.
vii took unglam of me. ITS DAMN LA.
i was doing some stupid stuff, pulling eye lid with pinky
wait, idk how to explain.
hahas, then ben whack jg;s butt then say its esther!
realised some freaky stuff.
hope its me!
hahas, then came home lor.
tell my mum abt teh amaths thing.
gonna watch GOkusen =D
MY MATSU JUNNNNNNNNNN!
freakin cute lur
*hearts*

anw, i promised my amaths book aka the cutest book aka my darling i will hug it before every amaths test if i pass my Amaths mye
so, look forward to good news.
HAHA. i think will just pass by 1,2 marks... bahs..

second thoughts

2008-05-11T11:54:00.011+08:00

helped hc last night with amaths
SUGOI!
lol, im actually of help!
then watching Gokusen;
damn nice la.
hmms, then go mum's rm watch
eh, ni zai gao she me gui
it talks abt weird weird freaky stuff.
yest's was abt aliens, ufos.
LOL. no comments.
then it ended at 12. so made mum watch wo cai wo cai wo cai cai cai.
long name...
yeahs, then went to sleep at one.
then on tv got that yi shi de mei hao song.
wahlao, churned feelings.
dreamt of some combat stuff.
dressed up as monster and fight dunno wad.
as in physical fight xDD
it was messy la, but wow, i keep dreaming of fights.
HAHA, VIOLENCE, VIOLENCEEEEEE!'
then later become video game.
woke up at 11. gonna watch gokusen.
im coughing =/
maybe gonna sleep or practice amaths

4.22pm
taught hc amaths.
watched gokusen.
find the story very beautiful although its like 6 ep.
beautiful in a sense that, errr, the friendship and all.
like so omg...
i forgot to hug my amaths book to sleep.
so tired. gonna nap and sleep with amaths book.
maybe do a bit of alphabeta shit in the evening or night
blehs, i've been emoing for who knows how long.
but oh well, i can barely open my eyes.
so EVENINGS!
argh cannot sleep laaaaaa (15mins later)
OMG I SO LOVE MATSU JUN...
WAAAAAAAAAAS IM GOING CRAZY AGAIN.
MATSU JUN IS SO EFFING CUTE!
die. i can barely open my eyes.
i need sleeep.

oh yeahs, tuesday go watch movie with 2e'07.
im still not sure if i wanna go.
maybe not after that.
HAHA.
hope my dad agrees, then i consider again.
if i rly wish to go.
coz i will busy for the whole of next month
T^T
FAC!

DINNER
OMG the crab's freaking fresh.
ate 2 nice err, full pincers and 2 sides.
OMG DAMN NICE *floats*
haha, my uncle start to tell cold jokes again.
but i nv laugh.
yeahs, then 2 hours later came home.
damn full...
my amaths... die le la xDD
gonna cont watch gokusen.
was energetic during dinner but before n after- sleepy
then there's still cake at home!
heart shaped with milk chocolate on its outside as in perimeter x height xD
omg... damn nice. I TOOK 2 SERVINGS =DD
my grandma was shocked.
she was saying that im full still eat so much.
so i told her, being full and not full is diff from being able to eat somemore and not being able to eat somemore xD
I MAY BE FULL BUT I CAN EAT!
omg... DID I FEEL HUNGRY?!
i can still it!
BE JEALOUS PPL x)
I CAN EAT A LOT xD
bet i'll be hungry after walking ard.
i know why im eating so much. HEHE.

someday-nina

2008-05-10T12:57:00.006+08:00

Someday you`re gonna realize
One day you`ll see this though my eyes
By then I won`t even be there
I`ll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared
I know you don`t really see my worth
You think you`re the last guy on earth
Well I`ve got news for you
I know I`m not that strong
But it won`t take long
Won`t take long

Someday someone`s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone`s gonna take your place
One day I`ll forget about you
You'll see i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Right now I know you can tell
I`m down and I`m not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won`t have to cry, sweet goodbye

AHHH, esther, faster online =D
and Ahhhhhhhh, i cannot stand having a so-not-white skin.
WHAT MORE ITS GREY! ITS LIKE BLACK WITH OPACITY SET TO ABT 30% OR WUTEVA.
I HATE TONES OF COLOURS SET TO OPACITY-NESS.
YOU WONT UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING!
YOU WONT!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
MUCH LESS UNDERSTAND WHAT THE CRAP IM SUFFERING.
some colour phobia?
Chromatophobia!
no, not chromatography!

ANYWAY
DO YOU KNOW BEATBOX IS CREATED BY QIN SHI HUANG?
the kou ling is,
pu ci ke, ta ci ke, pu ci ke, bu ta ci ke
its in chinese but nvm la.
i was watching tv then they say so xD

and i found this naruhina fic cute.
as in the hidden messages. awww.
naruhina-letter
yes, im back to fanfictions *shiunggg*
5yr old blind girl playing piano.
as in she play can play it by listening to music only.
omgomgomomg
while waiting for iswak2 to load...
last ep le!

FEELS SO GREAT

2008-05-10T11:00:00.004+08:00

last weekend to enjoy before FAC
dreamt i bought a guitar, but didnt get to play it XD
feeling better, errr, more down to the earth.
dunno if im ooc, or very long nv be myself liaos.
LOL. jumped ard doing random stuff, lucky no one saw them.
MWAHA.

to hbh: I DEMAND MY POCKY ON MONDAY (SS ERROR) !
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG.
I WANT MY POCKY.
I WANT MY POCKY!!!
or else i will kill my stitchy xDD

by the way, everyone shld watch nobuta wo produce♥
no, its not abt love or blahs. its abt friendship and its damn nice.
the ending made me cry though; but i have to stick to the fact that sad endings are better since they sorta satify you MORE. coz happy endings, how freakin happy can they be? its like, you wont get enough of the happiness. yeahs. SO JUST WATCH IT. you wont regret! this is random but oh well. AND HEY, IM RANDOM! *nobuta power no... JUNI !* (dont get it? yeahs, you aint suppose to get it when you dont watch it)

those feelings

2008-05-09T23:03:00.005+08:00

those feelings are killing me...
its never as easy as i thought.
i once thought it was easy, but oh well.
what if i say...
nah, forget it.
was helping esther get songs,
then was looking at the vid (youtube wad)
was sorta looking at others.
theres this stupid video which is like,
errr, rly express how i feel right now..
awwwwwwww T______T
*inserts everything*

i needa piece 'em up in time

2008-05-09T18:34:00.007+08:00

LOL, 2nd post?
screw my definition of beautiful
my definition of beautiful is not like anyone else's.
ideal blahs. or whatever crap.
this is the 2nd time i say this (it was like 2months +++ ago the last)
i'll never wish and hope anyhow-ly anymore.
i paid a price for that =______=
but i got it in the end.
lols. realised so when talking to lava.
she made me realised some stuff, some possibility it may be true.
i feel so much better,
when i allow myself, or finally made to(indirectly)
put down those hatred.
hahas.. hmmms.
i know, when its put(ted xD) down,
there're complications.

i still feel light-headed and wobbly~
HMMS,
now, the thing is.
shld i follow my head or my heart
=_____________=

AWW SO SWEEEEEET
you hafta look at those sasusaku cosplays.
so sweeeta

guess this is what happens when im not forcing myself

2008-05-09T15:37:00.008+08:00

apparently i've gave in to my emotions.
okays.
so... last night my cousin called me for alpha beta qns and samples.
i cannot do. yes. pathetic la.
lucky amaths on monday.
dug out all my exercise books (some found on my small dustbin xD)
yeahs, then slept...
and my dream was about...
nvm. forget it. it shldnt be the case.
this morning coughed like siao.
yest i knew i
ll get cough but nv take medicine before i sleep =/
coughed like siao.
went sch.
physics paper2. damn easy
i don't know how to do a freaking qns.
i left a lot of blanks.
and best still, i was having runny nose and a horrible headache!
*points at joonguan*
HE PASSED IT TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and benjamin.
lol. actually coz i everyday eat out -____- but still!
i was on the road to recovery.
then yeahs, a lot blanks.
couldnt stand my nose so went toilet. yes. ppl keep looking i think =___=
coz i chiong my paper in like 45mins or smth.
i sneezed and sneezed, edward turned back and GLARED at me T_____T
yeahs, papr over.
this is so much harder than bio man.
im prepared to get single digits.
no break coz 2G having exam.
RAWR.
was totally gong and not feeling well.
paper1. calculation qns i anyhow choose, well most
coz i cannot concentrate. my headache and nose was killing me.
i nv felt as horrible as that.
finished it in like 20mins.
yes, my mcq.
then tried to rest but my headache wont allow so!
and i dun have tissue paper le!
argh, then keep rubbing my head etc.
yueyoong tot i nv do my paper at all,
coz she kept turning and after exam,
ask if i did my paper.
LOL. amazing speed coz a lot tikam.
ms chui see me liddat, then ask me see doc.
lol. went to tiong, ate.
AND GUESS WHAT?
MY HEADACHE WENT AWAY FOR A WHILE...
OHOHOHO~ FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
man im helpless.
lava saw this book titled, horror tales at kopitiam.
yeahs, then we read it.

one of the story goes like this.
there's this chicken rice stall, who worked until late at night.
then there's this girl, who went up to the store...
she had long hair and stuff (typical you know?)
then she looked up with bloodshot eyes and smiled.
of course the seller(huh huh whats the correct word) got scared la
what happened next, caused him to faint.
yeahs, that girl started doing chicken dance

yes, i made that up myself while eating!
HAHA, don't get it?
the chicken spirit possessed the girl.
(thats why do chicken dance)
im so not over the chicken spirit thing.
but the tales at kopitiam thingy, that book is sold of popular.
that is real. as in it exists.
rest are crapped.
but after a while i feel sick again.
went home, showered. took medicine.
was tempted to take all my medicine.
went to sleep.
then the fac trg details kept coming and stuff =/
finally slept. dunno who the hell called me.
yeahs, wrong number.
and i fell asleep with totally bothered mind.
YES, PHYSICS! PHYSICS CAME TO HAUNT ME!
slept for about 3 hours.
woke up, walked, i feel floaty.
literally weightless.
=// i still feel floaty now...

lucky its friday...
haha im gonna get super low marks for physics and bio.
and im proud of it!
beat that xD
i rly wanna score for amaths.
haha.
sometimes i regret for not doing some things, not coz i done it..
yes, i remember it all...

someone took the place i thought i was in.

2008-05-08T14:56:00.020+08:00

numb from yest.
cannot think.
dreamt of ms tan scolding me.
emaths was ok. 10-20 flew though
anw,
my earpiece spoiled *sobs*
the phone one not nice, give me headaches.
or im just unwilling to accept it D=
chem. EASIER THAN BIO.
got some trick qns, was telling ppl after the test.
it seems like everyone realise,
proves that these type of qns is to fool ppl like me.
can do all but the thing is idk if i got em right.
nv go physics lesson.
went LJS, then go popular, more than words.
at LJS, got this 2 guys keep looking at evelyn,
keep acting cool. DAMN DAMN FUNNY.
what more same sch as... what if...
MWAHAH. evelyn! i promised ya i'll blog this =D
reminded me of other things, HAHA.
I WANT THE DOMOKUN CUSHION xDD
wanna sit with evelyn again and get the errr, shaking, whatever.
prepared to flunk physics with evelyn.
i dunno how to find the resultance force with the parallelogram(fish the sp)
i rmb yy banging the table with the pissed off look coz she dun understand that

its like magic;
the hatred seems to be gone.
it shldnt exists in the first place
and im more willing to...
more willing to let go i guess...
you're too nice, you're really a very nice person..
it reminds me of the reason...
hope i'll stay like this...
and i wish i wont change my mind.
i hope to get this over and done with, fast; and cont being friends. i mad the decision of not talking, for the good of both parties. coz i wanna get over this fast, and i hope i don't end up, having hate, hopes in the process. i nv thought i'll be willing to forgive, or its too early to say. where does the feelings, due to effects of the damage, goes? as in what to blame, how to acount to it sorta thing =/ but good that i know its one-sided all along. maybe, it'll be the answer. im unwilling to stop, loving you coz im afraid, i don't know what will happen next. and afraid everything would be forgotten, something that meant a lot to me would be forgotten.. guess i'll have to deal with that first. and i wonder if its counted... but i dont think so, since, its one-sided? sorry im calculative =X
hmms, i hope i will be able to cry with stitchy again this fac,
tears of happiness. again.
i hope so... hope things finally go well this time, for the first times for this year.
hais, i just rmb NC2(except joie) is all taller than me!
i don't wanna be the short commander which the judge cant see
*reference to what benjamin said.
I LOVE STITCHY!
stitchy's a male so im not les!
WAHAHHA.
to clear misunderstandings.
jinyan is now my stitchy.
too many ppl call her stitch *crosses arms*
stitchy =/= (not equals to) stitch.
stitchy = jinyan = imitation of stitch
HAHA. MAO PAI HUO!

"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?

And you didn't hear
All my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you know, I still miss you somehow

[CHORUS:]
From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love, you were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love, I never knew love
'Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

"Baby," I said, "please stay.
Give our love a chance for one more day"
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what love's all about

But you put a dart
Through my dreams through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end

[Repeat CHORUS]

You promised yourself
But to somebody else
And you made it so perfectly clear
Still I wish you were here

[Repeat CHORUS]

"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?

i repeat, no particular reason.
i just like this song =D

; i STILL don't understand

2008-05-07T14:09:00.020+08:00

this morning, overslept 15mins
woke up coz of lava's sms.
damn heng.
chiong to sch half awake.
did chinese paper, HALF AWAKE-LY
just anyhow write then sleep.
the passage was hard T^T
studied for bio.
LOL, nv really study, some animals caught my attn.
maybe got pissed?
i dunno.
then bio was freakin hard.
I ALL DUNNO HOW TO DO, well, almost.
went to eat with siti, joel seet, lava, syu and hc.
LOL, burping war between me and js.
HAHA, the rest were so disgusted la.
then the chicken spirits thingy xDDD
lava n syu attracts them.
you know they always shows chickens or whatever ard one's head if that person's giddy?
yeahs, then they said they didnt get wad was happening on our side.
so i was saying, I SEE CHICKEN SPIRITS.
yeahs, maybe gonna sleep soon.
barely awake.
throat hurts =/

stupid and embarrassing things i did today(yes im gonna confess)
1.i totally pwn them(lava, esther, evelyn, js, siti they all)
by saying vesak day's a chirstian event xD
2.i went to KFC and asked for mac chicken student meal
the auntie stun, then i was thinking whats wrong,
took me a while to realise. HAHA.
3.during the burping war, js was like saying i started first when i said it was him.
a table of ppl turned and looked at me when that happened xDD

HOPE my stupidness MADE YOUR DAY xD

i love melody's album...
its so sooothing...
i hope that makes me stay calm...
BUT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
yes, a part of today's post was removed.
removed it when i was calm

im going to think about it.
thanks aaron.
yeahs, i was amazed, you too xDD

just studied chem.
more of reading and multi tasking...
gonna sleep soon.
i can feel the pill (yes, medicine) swimming in my stomach.
EEEEK. always liddat =/
hope the drowsiness acts fast...
not gonna think, not gonna expect much.
gonna take it as it come

when love and hate collides;

2008-05-06T19:04:00.004+08:00

I wanna see you cry, like i did a thousand times ;)
i BITE. and i bite HARD.
all i need is just a chance to.

was reminded of what i've long forgotten;
and for that, i've gained my confidence once again.
I will try to take each step firmly. =D

tio tagged

2008-05-06T18:15:00.002+08:00

Instructions:
-Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions
-Then tag 8 people in your links list them out at the end of the post.
-Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.
-Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1.What is your greatest fear?
- greatest fear... HMMM. totally confined.

2.How many children do you want?
- too far

3.What I want the most now?
- retributions to those who deserves it =)

4.What do you want to be when you grow up?
- maybe something related to... arts?

5.If you can have 1 more dream to come true, what would it be?
- wish for two more dreams. rewind time and get some ppl outta my life.

6.What are you afraid to lose now?
- read this. NOTHING.

7.Do you believe in being in love forever?
- definitely not now

8.If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
- no. tired of it.

9.If your phone is going flat, who will you contact first to inform him/her about it?
- the person im in contact with?

10.How do you define friends?
- someone whom you can communicate without saying anything

11.Which type of person do you hate most?
- HAHA. AINT IT FREAKIN OBVIOUS?
those that don't know how to draw that freakin a line between friends and lover

12.What are the things going through your mind now?
- ~~i wanna make someone feel horribly miserable~~ not rly sane now.

13.Have you been betrayed by any of your friends?
- what is the definition of betrayal

14.What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
- friends. yeah.

15.Roughly, how much of an age gap would you want to have between you and your spouse?
- 0 to 5

16.What do you want your friend to be like?
- easy-going, fun to be with and all those

17.If you were to die right now, what would you do?
- hmms, nothing.

18.If you have a change, which part of your character would you like to change?
- Indecisiveness

19.If you're feeling low one day, who will you go to?
- hmmms, it really depends.

20. What's your regret in life?
- well, there's a lot.

The 8 people are:
- Aaron
- CHERYL aka cherwyl
- Valerie
- Paul
- Benjamin
- EVELYN (though esther tagged her)
- Yueyoong
- Lawrence

doushita... no...?

2008-05-06T14:27:00.004+08:00

yesterday...
yeahs, had a weird dream.
woke up at like 5 plus and there's only one thing ringing in my mind.
arghh. and there it goes, spoiling my morning.
my ear piece went crazy D=
met sharon, chatted.
went to sch, then panic coz of emaths.
panic till siao.
emaths was still ok.
i see that sector segment qns, i nv rmb formula, almost cry =/
(tsktsk.my morning aint good alrdy.)
but yeahs, rushed everything got left time then do.
my marks flew, but don't see myself failing.
go dwn, study geog.
blabbered crap.
then was testing benjamin.
he said i was serious.
then i showed him my version of the hydrological cycle =D
then was telling lava abt the movement of particles thingy.
geog paper, was shiok!
xDD
received paper and jotted down ALL my answers.
i dunno if i did well, but i wrote a lot, as in what i rmb/studied came out!
so its like, only the vertical erosion thingy i forget,
then just anyhow bomb answer.
finished everything at 11.30.
then checked...
went piano with esther and evelyn then went bk.
was saying im adapted to errr, my characteristics so im short?
well it makes no sense.
but since im afraid of low ceilings (more of super enclosed and you cant get out places)
im short. and that... HAHAHA. nvm =)
received trg msg for next 3 weeks..
AHHHH... cannot go out liaos =/
after comp then UK trip...
at least no time to think =)
ate alrdy, all sleepy so i came home...
actually wanna rush home but...
yeahs, anw saw jiaying. she's so talll T^T
fyi, she's 2 yrs younger than me.
my way of releasing emotions is to walk briskly,
coz cannot run wad.
just imagine some short girl running ard.
like idiot liddat.
yeahs, took the long way back home...
it's been some time...
yeahs, gonna sleep soon
why do i have to hide all my feelings, and to act strong, to act as if im not affected?
why my hopes just don't crush and disappear into thin air?
WHY DO THINGS ALWAYS COME IN A GO?!
i realised this isnt the way out
aheiirstu

what the insert hand gesture are all these?!

2008-05-05T21:05:00.005+08:00

OKAYS.
posting after i've finished studying and memorising geog stuff.
today, eng test was sorta diff or whatever lahs.
i realise when i panic, now, i cannot write at all =/
literally trembled while i stayed calm last yr.
stayed in class.
sometime before start of ss, me and yy went horribly high.
YY STARTED FIRST!
then yy threw eraser at me then i whack etc
she whack until my eraser naked thn dunno run where.
left its one-piece clothing on the floor.
found it, it was hiding in my bag.
like wth.
both of us sorta blank out upon seeing the qns
ss. i screwed up. MS TAN's GONNA KILL ME
*runs in circles*
didnt go for obs meeting, would have gotten in if i went.
but oh well, waited for esther so nv go outta sch.
ate in canteen and go up class.
asked hc help buy choc milk tea =D
hid it somewhere while doing listening compre.
actually wanna skip geog lessons, then in the end dun have.
went to piano on 3rd story.
esther wanna prac.
me and evelyn started outlining BIAG scores coz of my super pro printer.
haha, barely see anything.
esther is damn pro =D
then later evelyn say she wanna learn how to play so i joined in too.
wahlao, i learn damn slow coz i totally blur.
but i think i picked it up later, HAHA.
now at least i know how to play a short tune with 2 hands
(not 'catching light'{term by esther} anymore xDD)
hahas, then 2 ppl play the song tgt.
so cooooooooooooooooooooooooool
HAHAHA, im so happy lorh.
then i didnt wanna leave the piano but oh well.
went to bk to study.
esther n evelyn did geog, i do emaths -___-
realised i can do the qns =D
later did a bit of geog then all braindead liao.
and i saw yiying! xDD
oh yeah, cl and kc were studying too.
then accompany esther n evelyn wait for bus then went home.
hogged the keyboard xD
then mum came back from batam.
taught my sisther that short tune also
HAHA. then playd tgt.
had dinner, then revise emaths, esp graphs.
sat down and memorise (say out loud) geog stuff
while my dad is doing his report xD
hmms, yeaps then used comp.
i was reading newspaper and smth caught my attn.
smth like women may need to get approval to go out the country or smth
i was like why why why?! then blahs.
my dad was saying its just related to smoking
(defending himself of course)
then we started arguing ( YES, AGAIN)
and he said he'll argue with me after his report.
but dont think its gonna happen anyway.
gonna rest well, scared tml blank out
gonna disturb esther more tml =DDDDD
and omg i forgot to take medicine this morning xDDD
maybe gonna have sorethroat and SHIT! EXAMS ARE GONNA BE OVER.
NO WAY MAN!

Melody. - Lei Aloha

2008-05-04T19:37:00.001+08:00

i just got her album...
the interludes are damn good and relaxing and all!
omg, gonna listen to her whole album in order.
1st time xDD
omg its so soooooooooothing
[s]if only i could die right now =D[/s]

;tied to a smile

2008-05-04T10:23:00.004+08:00

if i hadnt visited the doctor, maybe i'll be feeling so much better right now.
last night, it was warm then keep pespiring.
once in a while release everything..
arghhh i don't feel too good.
keep wanting to sleep (as f i didnt sleep enough)
no breakfast =/ so ate bread. and we hadnt talk for full 2 months. dont think you realise either.
parents also not at home.
i wanna study but dunno where to continue from...
tomorrow is SS... and im getting excited.
ARGH, damn the headaches T______T
~~wont take the stupid cough syrup!~~
shld have done so coz my cough a lil only T^T
and coz i took that, drowsinesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

from the first roses; to the last kisses

2008-05-03T20:15:00.001+08:00

, today went for chem lessons.
met evelyn then went to sch, tot we were late.
evelyn scared of electronic fan. damn funny la.
use it to disturb her.
blahs, went to mac rot for a few hrs with esthr n evelyn
then came home.
damn sleepy...
AHHHHHHhhhHHhhHHHhHhHHHHHhhHHh~
everything seems weird,
i feel like my mind is lagging damn badly by a day? a week? or a month?
damn badly..
AGHGHAHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGAHGAHGAHAGAHGAHAAAAAA.

argh, went to see doctor.
keep sleeping =/
got medicine and stuff, gonna rest today and chiong tml alrdy.
i don't know if it would stay but i believe i've turned into a very horrible person by now... i realised i cannot hold those feelings back anymore. so i've decided i wont do so... since its hurting so much...
i cannot even count properly... argh..
things are happening too fast...
way too fast

the drowsiness havent wear off =/
trying to stay awake as far as possible.
dunno its me or what, im trembling now =(
hais, i don't like all these...
shld i put it or away... or face it, face to face.
everyday, till its over...
argh, i feel horrible.
its like when you are sick, you feel weak...
and you will want someone by your side
its only reaching 8 and im dying.
gonna chiong studying tml...
wont take the cough syrup anymore untill night =(
my body is aching
im sad, im so freakin sad. damn damn sad. beyond words can ever, err, relay(?)

tired... damn.

2008-05-02T18:47:00.008+08:00

and coz of that shit, i couldnt sleep last night.
i woke up damn bothered at 0.30am plus
then stared and rotted, flipped like siao.
then decided to trick sis into going outside,
(coz i wanna study but im scared)
argh, but i failed so i chiong outside and do my stuff
untill 3am. not tired la.
then force myself go rest.
flipped like siao, then fell asleep?
this morning super rush, coz i sorta woke up 5mins late.
hmms, then went to sch.
blahs. nth much.
pe, played a bit, but cannot take it coz flu,
then bad headache, cannot like errr, jump ard too much D=
esther thinks the same as me xD
hmmms, lessons are ok.
actually paid attention in maths.
went to mac with evelyn and rotted for a v long time.
talking about JCs ^^
while walking to tiong, got moth flew in front of us,
and landed gracefully, closing its wings.
both me and evelyn had the same reaction
HAHAHA. we blocked e stupid path anw
cannot rmb, and most of the post details gone.
coz yest my internet sot then yeahs, no comp.
when i wanted to slack and rest...
super pissed then hafta handle some stuff.
slept

great realisation

2008-05-01T22:36:00.004+08:00

dad came back, and hit me with his presence.
i dunno how to explain this for this is beyond words...
but omg. i found a super satisfying answer to the common qns.
why are we here?
omg, the process to finding the answer was damn... amazing =D
hahas. i feel like drawing it out. xDDD
kk. i wont blame you if you think im insane!
WOOOTSA~
haha, it wont last -____-

flu and studying

2008-05-01T21:30:00.002+08:00

haha, i actually got the mood the study.
more of doing notes for bio and physics.
sat down for like 7hours...
my flu was killing me horribly,
headaches and my dustbin is like 1/2 filled with tissue papr.
actually wanna go visit doctor, sorta made my mum angry coz i wanted her to go with me.
in the end she did, then a lot of ppl, so i went home...
feels better now, except having headaches.
hais, i dun wan do summary...
but hais, later ms tan kill me....
and yay, my dad came home with good news.
haha, he's freakishly lucky xDD
lalalalalaaaas~

i've fallen sick

2008-05-01T11:41:00.006+08:00

zzz, felt chilly yest.
whateva you call it =__=
mum suddenly shouted at us,
when she sees me moving (signs of errr, awake?)
then she starts shouting,
'eI, YOU TWO NV GO SCH?!
me and sis were like,
'today's thursday, labour's day'
'NOOOOO TODAY IS FRIDAY LEI!'
LOL, yeahs, she was trying to scare us nia. xDD
yeaps, woke up, realised i've lost a bit of my voice.
and that im down with cough and flu
what a great timing!
went downstairs, bought bread and lunch...
then sis scolded me, like WTF, i help you buy still attitude me.
im pespiring like siao, maybe go shower again or smth...
will force myself to study later(although im not in the condition too)
ARGHAHGAHAGH.
zzz, the codes(for those small prints) screwed up.
RAWR, so i have to remove them but guess you've seen it alrdy.
hahas, its warm/cold.
oh great, what did i wanna saaay.
oh, im tired of this skin =_______________________=

and my dad gonna come home todaaaaaaaay!
and my mum gonna leave on sat or sun D=

more than you know

2008-04-30T15:51:00.006+08:00

yest was horrid.
bio was ok, revised.
threw paper airplanes.
damn funny xDD
went hyper etc.
CD3 and physics,
did paper.
ate lots of sweets.
ss , el, no comments.
amaths is more of revision.
was chatting with ben and yy abt the post thingy.
haha, then stayd back.
a lot of funny stuff happen.
then im home, hungry.
gonna redraw the design for the anco shirt..
and me n yy's plan FAILED!
=((((
argh, only did hw...
im tired but feels that the day is too short to be ended.
browsing dA and scared myself with that creepy BWAHAH ghostly face

ARGH STRESSSSSSSSS

2008-04-29T21:33:00.001+08:00

studies cannot stress me as much as CCA and deadlines does.
~~AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I HATE RESPONSIBLITIES!~~
i fear, when the exams are over...
don't think im suited to lead.
i know no one is, but i think im srsly hopeless.
GAGAGAGGA.
im prepared to flunk midyears

it's not going away

2008-04-29T16:23:00.004+08:00

hais, it feels real odd when things changes fast, like in a second.
a while, you have this and that, a while later you have nothing and gained others etc..

last night revised ss.
realised there's no time, so gonna use other ways of studying.
cannot do notes anymore.. (though its e most effective for me)
brain was dead at 9 =/
so went to sleep quite early...
but my mind was still working. zzz.
okays, today was damn tired.
dreamt of going to uk blah blahs.
stupidity.
usual things.
went for emaths, sian.
damn sian. then revised sec2 stuff.
HAHAHA funny...
physics, dunno must bring wad.
then end up i went super hyper during physics.
and started annoying and freaking ppl out.
haha, i was behind the comp so ms tay cannot see anything.
i even banged the table, and i didnt pay any attention
pathetic.
chinese, was doing emaths hw? and copying amaths...
BLEHS. im so hopeless.
amaths, was okay. he revised on partial fraction.
I failed my amaths ca1!
our class got 3 failures. and im ~~proudly~~ one
im the highest among those 3. i got 47.
my reaction was to nod and say its not bad...
hais, im so so so so hopesless =l
geog... actually wanted to do amaths.
but mdm sarifa gave us some SEQ to do..
revised while doing? was refering to my chart i've decided the bring.
eng, went it lab.
literally did nothing. got summaries back...
I SCORED 19 for summary! i break my own record again
later went to class, nth much.
sch no money then have to pay 128 more for UK trip.
RAAAAAAAAAWR.
heard its lectures etc and practical.
whatever larhs.
chem was ok. damn sleepy.
actually going esther's hse but changed my mind.
gonna go sleep awhile then study after dinner.
i love exam periods coz no cca.
T^T after exams will be super busy...
but will be good, coz my mind will be errr, not working bahs.
i don't know how to explain the feelings when i see... but something's for sure, i don't like it. i tried to bury everything, yes i managed to, but the emotions are still there. so its like, i will feel sad for no apparent reasons coz i forget everything

AND LOL, i've bought quite a lot of sweets.
coz hunger pangs= low glucose lvl.
and hey... sweets aint glucose right =___=
just realise it now but who cares.
gonna eat when studying xDD
damn. im hungry
but it rly reminded me of the HUGE amt of mentoes i last bought
coz i was trying to fill smth up coz the box was too big xDD
in the end i gave ppl for v day gift xD

quickies; headache

2008-04-28T16:41:00.008+08:00

yest cannot sleep. xD
today damn tired, actually wanted to go late coz no ap but went.
yes, copied hw again(im hopeless)
then go disturb cher..
then blahs, chem..
hmmms, went through test paper n periodic table...
i failed la...
hmms, amaths, i also fail.
a lot careless, if not i pass alrdy.
if i still dun do well, most prob mr lim will force me drop amaths.
hmms recess, went down eat...
emaths, wasnt listening..
chinese, totally rotting behind...
stupid esther and evelyn.
i shldnt say wad happened ¬.¬
then tot today got eng, but its cd3
see wrong timetable for tues.
went to staircase there.
then later went to hand money to mdm sarifa.
i dont rly feel like going UK anymore.
im always liddat =___=
plus *censored*
ahhhhhhhhh!
hmmhmm, then went back to class, put the green toy on the edge of door.
let it jump and suicide.
post vid later.
and within like 10mins it gained lots of popularity.
although ben made it drop.

yy posted some postit on my table.
its to louiza from crayon shin chan( la bi xiao xin)
then the msg is DONG GAN CHAO REN! WAHAHAHAHA!

she dunno how to write 'la'
later i took the paper, change my name to benjamin
then stick it on his table.
YES, ITS ME AND YY'S WORK =D
then benjamin go stick on notice board!
haha, i added that to my grp's cheer last yr xD
anw, physics was ok...
nv go for extra bio lessons.
then went to mac rot a while with evelyn lava esther.
i cant wait for tml xDDD
hope it goes smoooooooothly
damn tired.

oh yeahs, its like if your left hand's index finger longer than your ring finger,
it means you have more female hormones/more feminine.
and if your ring finger is longer than your index finger,
it means you have more male hormones/more masculine.
thats what i watched on tv and didnt rly catch what they said,
but esther watched and we were talking abt it.
HAHA, lava and esther slightly more feminine.
cannot rmb yy and evelyn's. but mine...
xDDD my ring finger is longer.
AHAHAHAHHAAA.

gonna study after dinner.
smth i've seen is stuck in my head...
[ c r a p ]although its smth i dislike, but if its taken down on photo,
it'll be pretty coz of the light source...[ / c r a p ]
its just so weird but but but-

anw, some random vid...

*nods* 2E'o7 T_T

and i've been failing so much this year, untill failing has alrdy loses its impact on me xD
and liek half the class failed eng, ms tan so harsh.
1st time fail english leis

-who are you

2008-04-27T19:27:00.003+08:00

wasted another day.
i need someone to stop me from overeating, sit down and study.
get away from the comp, not to feel tired constantly.
arghagagaaghahagahah...
i don't wanna take back my words, or go against it. thats why i've not been saying anything

shld have realized by the distance in your eyes

2008-04-27T11:32:00.003+08:00

yest nth much.
did hw.
drew.
chatted on phone.
fought with sister.
slept at 1am watching tv...
was eating rice and bread-s at like 11+pm?!
the still hungry.
my stupid sis go eat the rice, its like not hungry still eat
and i was damn hungry la
jinyan was also watching, smsed her.
then she nv reply alrdy, maybe she fell asleep
totally freaked out when i have to walk ard the hse.
coz all sleeping so i ran.
i still find myself calling your name.
today arhs..
i will try to study coz im rly wasting my time.
dreamt of smth. indirect apologizing/talking to someone.
it'll nv happen xDD
zzz, im not your entertainer!

yeaps. short post =)

for the emptiness;

2008-04-26T09:50:00.001+08:00

didnt bear to sleep yesterday.
dunno why. and i was again tearing...
but slept...
woke up in morning, tot must go sch but sis nv wake up.
then oh well..
woke up. first thought was...
nvm, called edusave, only left 75 =/
must be that stupid creative writing thing =X
but forget it...
woke up, washed up. watched doraemon when taking breakfast.
hope i can study later!
hais, everyone all studying bahs.
stress leis

i want coughhuggycough

2008-04-25T16:10:00.008+08:00

yest cannot sleep again.
thinking a lot >:(
this morning passed esther e drawing.
she likes it =D
english paper was okay.
did the title cars and the letter thing.
only siti wrote the same as me.
that stupid yy say i write buying car no link to cars.
then he go write he go nissan, toyota, blahs got link.
mr lim scolded me... coz of my shirt.
he said if untuck, gonna ask me go out tuck in my shirt during exams.
went to staff room coz lava looking for ms tho.
then blahs..
went for chinese.
did letter writing first.
damn sleepy.
then did the article review thing.
think i wrote wrong qns number T^T
i need paper then mr kung on phone,
then he gave me one stack of writing paper
rewrite till halfway rly felt like sleeping.
used my time fully.
gonna check edusave got how much.
went to ljs with lava esther n evelyn.
hahas, chatted etc.
then lava left.
devy, brenda, cuiling and lyn came...
brena and lyn kept singing
went popular, yy was with eileen and yx.
he tap me then his fist at the other side, almost punched me.
and i almost wanted to slap him.
natural reaction so careful if you wanna try anything funny, anyone.
then looked at those self-improve books?
lol, then saw one ' what do men look in bitches'
HAHA, then read the tarot and the palmistry.
then look at the personology book.
DAMN INTERESTING AND ZHUN
haha got pen then went home...
im tiredd...
double digits again
if thoughts will result in actions. tell you what. you wont see me tml =)
anyway, I PASSED MY EMATHS TEST!
2nd time i passed my maths test.
anw, rmb the $100 for the jar of syrup (30cm cir, 10cm height)?
mr lim commented... and said... too expensive xDD
LOL!
someone wrote $10 but dunno who...

slacked a lot, gonna chiong tml, or dun study at all.
dunno what's with me, seriously...
maybe im still running and hadnt stop.
blehs... and i realised, i nv pinch ppl as much as i used to do.
and i dun pull my cheeks anymore...
yeahs, i know why...
everything is still etched in my mind; memories are gushing back. i rmb everything, but do you... not.
and the day is ending...

took my pencil =D

2008-04-24T21:44:00.005+08:00

anyway, CHIPS MORE!

its not the full thing. argh its blur
and yeaps, those r turtles xD

close ups.
HAHA DONT ASK WHY

my hand. coz i used 6b to outline xDDD
i was stupidly wondering why my next page of paper was dirty
and realised my hand's e one = o=

i drew again =DD
was feeling ZZZ, but after drawing i feel good.
yup, that's for esther =D
took abt 1.5 hours
A3 size xDD
passing it to her tml.
hope she likes it
get it from her if you wanna see it.
trust me, the original always look better =X
lalala.
my sis loves it xDD

hais tml needa fallin after sch.
im starting to fear sjab,
as in the fear is back =//
i dunno what's the word for it but yeahs..

& life goes on

2008-04-24T19:29:00.002+08:00

...i wonder how long i can take it...

OCTOPI

2008-04-24T18:23:00.002+08:00

i finally met my opponent;
someone who keeps hugging me;
and she's super les;
keeps calling me octopus.
it was me who goes ard glomping ppl.
but oh well T^T

she is none other than EVELYN!
HAHA, EVELYN OCTOPIIIIIIIIII aka LESBIAN.
she always molest me T^T

;to myself

2008-04-24T15:40:00.003+08:00

yesterday...
nvm, i didnt manage to.
thought about lots and lots of things,
finally felt super sleep at like 11pm
D=
today, hand aching. that stupid box of books.
went to sch, blahs...
then ppl like dunno go where after flag raising.
evelyn told me ppl going for the uk trip must go meet mdm sarifa.
LOL, then i went.
she told us about the passport, visa thingy.
needa pay $322 more.
MY EDUSAVE NO MONEY(less than 200!)
esther n yy got, so they paying $122.4
gonna ask rebe for the number to check edusave!
went to lab... bio lessons... was smsing aaron.
LOL, he smsed when i wanted to sms him
hais, damn sian la... was rotting... disturbed yy's cat.
she tricked me la, she took out empty Dars =(
chinese was totally boring!
i was sitting at the back. lucky wl sat in front of me.
so i kena blocked and feel safe doing my stuff.
then was sitting at the back and observing stuff.
ppl who still owe chinese compo were sent outta class to do.
benjamin pro la, 5 LEI!
then a lot ppl smsing.
i was bored, so i smsed evelyn too xDD
SHE REPLIED LA.
then saw ryan smsing ( ORH HOR!)
decided to disturb him, so i smsed him.
LOL, it took rly long for the sms to reach him.
he gave me the idea of studying chem.
but last 10mins liao, but just stare at my notes lor.
emaths, no test paper =(
went dwn to eat and stuff.
was talking about hiccups and burping.i
i wanna hiccup.
joel seet always hiccup.
i can burp anytime i want xDD
then siti loses her voice easily.
went up to 3rd floor.
saw jinyan, and vice versa. then i opened my arms *huggy*
and hugged cindy who was in front of her.
sharon laughed at jinyan. damn funny.
then hugged jinyan. SHE THREW ME LA
she tried again and almost threw me down.
started whacking her etc, went into 3E
hahas, fought with evelyn.
SHE HIT MY FACE =(
hahas, then went back to class.
MS TAN NV COME!
2 free periods~
ran ard with xiaokang xD or dunno what then tried to snatch evelyn's pig
with help of cheryl. really running/playing ard like crazy.
mr lim came in D=
then he went out =D
THEN CHAOS AGAIN!!!
hahas, my awyong(?) walked passed then all stun.
then later he walk pass again w/o looking in.
was staring at chem notes with esther.
benjamin was singing When I'm Gone.
ryan, me and esther were singing too.
HAHAHAHA. damn funny.
then benjamin sang till halfway, i think,
too slow.
hahas.
then lisin asked abt obs stuff...
then heard they submitted the names alrdy =(
sorta unfair coz we dunno leis.
threw evelyn's pig ard.
to jg there. then he picked up.
and he was talking to daryl(err, guess this sp bahs)
jg held the pig
and daryl said,
" you think you got pig only arh? *reaches in pocket*
I also got pig!"
LOLS DAMN FUNNY!
hmms, chem...
dunno why when miss chui came in,
whole 3g clapped and cheered for her.
LOL, and DUH, i joined in!
MADE LOTS OF NOISE XDDD
miss chui was shocked.
guessed it may be some... errr... things to stop her from giving test?
assembly was ok.
keep disturbing evelyn/ she disturb me.
went to tiong ntuc with hc.
wanna buy chipsmore.
and my name is now, louiza wont come true (wong chen zhen)
coz chen zhen means come true wad.(sounds like)
ya, bought chipsmore (cheapsmore xDD)
hc bought this korean snack w/ reusable container.
so we shared. and im supposed to finish eating it...
waited for bus with her.
quite long, finish everything before bus came.
then reached home like 3.30
my dad's hooked to eng songs xDD
then was talking...
my dad asked smth unexpected. he commented that he hadnt visited for some time
thought he knows coz my mum knew.
but oh weeeeeeeell.
gonna eat my chipsmore.
rot.
and sleep.
then at night.
study format.
end of story.

these mixed emotions...

2008-04-23T20:08:00.006+08:00

felt like I came out from the blender
feeling totally mixed up
not knowing how am i feeling; exactly
contradicting with your thoughts
when you feel like breaking down
getting everything done and over with
putting everything aside...
and never, ever touch them again.
chunk responsibilities aside,
problems aside

i just want,
to live my life like how it was.
without any complicated/cannot-be-comprehended feelings.
nothing to worry about.
no sadness,
no anger.
looking forward to the next day.
i hope,
to live my life,
simply.
but,
its almost impossible.
everything's falling apart...
i keep running and running...
nothing is solved at all...
im just wasting my time away...
how long do i have left?
who knows...
but i just wanna live my life,
simply.
without everything above.
but we have to grow up someday, dont we?
its inevitable...
people will change, and so do the world...

problems just keep coming and coming.
unhappiness, too.
i really hope a lot of things hadn't happen.
maybe i wont feel like this now;
if it hadnt happen...
i would be feeling much happier?
studying?

my mind is too occupied to study =(
i guess i have to study tml...
or go unprepared...

A Perfectly Good Heart- Taylor Swift

2008-04-23T18:27:00.004+08:00

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

Maybe I
Should've seen the signs
Should've read the writing on the wall
And realized
By the distance in your eyes
That I would be the one to fall

No matter what you say
I still can't believe
That you would walk away
It don't make sense to me, but

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

It's not unbroken anymore...
How do I get it back the way it was before?

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?
Why would you wanna break...
Why would you wanna break it?

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

i still secretly wish, to be by your side, with you, through everything.
argh. these shitty feelings are back... arghhhhhh... just when i put all aside. like he said, you will never come back. never. im having super mixed emotions. damn it. PLEASE. NOT THIS BEFORE EXAMS!

no, i DO know it.

2008-04-23T15:22:00.007+08:00

xiaokang! hahas, my idea.
and was qns by ek coz of this xDD
yueyoong did it! (she allowed me)

random strips of paper

its super heavy!

books in between files xD

cher's blur D=

vanessa

the bread with expression. just look at the err, concave parts xD

last night was studying amaths.
yes. omg.
went to sleep like for 30mins then cousin came.
did maths n physics.

this morning, super super super tired.
hmms, sch like normal.
bio, the stupid leave thing.
I PASSED MY BIo TEST xDD
CD3 arrange table etc.
actually sit near yy, lava, kc, evelyn!
but change the rows n columns blahs.
then say beside yy behind lava...
went outta class, hugged random ppl
ESP KAICHING!!!!
KAICHINGGGGGG is also scared of me.
physics, had this spring test.
i dont care also...
recess, ate and stuff.
talked to hc =)
ss + el. MS TAN NV COMEEEEE!
did the needed stuff then doodled.
end up drawing road camelot(?) from dgm
she looks older.
took lava's psp to play, then sianned, yy came and play.
he complained that the cpu noob and he can win easily.
coz easy mode waaaaaad.
ek gave yy a cat. HAHA.
now she has a dog and cat!
amaths test. spent 30mins on qns 5
LOL. think can at least just pass, well i hope.
brought my box of books and files back. damn heavy!!
ahhhhh. i wonder how heavy.
almost dropped my books when adjusting bag strap.
maybe its 5kg? idk.
today no hw. gonna rest...
and, during amaths test.
clever ppl all ard me la, then i can feel the atmosphere of clever-ness.
then i can do all the qns, felt as if i kena influenced liddat xD

and you wanna tell me things, just tell me.
don't go one big round.
i knew its you, coz afterall i helped you with this a lot of times.

realised some things but oh well

obstacles.

2008-04-22T17:32:00.003+08:00

yest, quite down. but lucky i've immuned myself =DD
~~told aaron scary stuff xDD~~
i love the song A picture to burn!
went to sleep...
dreamt of smth totally not expected and everything seemed so real.
~~but if its gonna come true, i gonna turn violent~~
damn tired, like usual.
listened to the song Picture to Burn on repeat.
HAHA, felt as if i skipped to sch.
went up classroom. yeaps.
then i dunno what happened.
cant rmb.
blahs, EMATHS TEST.
OMG its upon 38!
my 10 marks + FLEW AWAY!
ONE JAR OF DRINK $100!
after that physics qns with a super fake and impossible answer,
i learnt not to use common sense.
I GAVE UP. AND NOW, SEE?!
omg...
nvm, physics was ok.
think we were playing and stuff.
chinese was ok ok.
learnt that we can take our chinese Os 2 times.
hmms, recess rotted in class~~, copying amaths~~
~~heard some stuff, but heck la.~~
lala geog, totally sianned.
cher used those sticky pad or whatever.
like the post-its. HAHA, i gonna learn!
SO CONVENIENT. and i have a lot at home xDD
el was nth much. a lot of ppl SCORED HIGH FOR ORAL!
at least 30+
i get ard 31...
mr sandhu's candidates ALL HIGH DE LA.
RAWR. no faiiiir.
lunch, rotted in class dunno do wad.
hmms chem was ok.
lessons were fun. haha. also pretty sick.
actually going subway with esther and evelyn at great world coz its cheaper.
but didnt, and went to kopitiam with lava n yy.
hahas, we ate korean meal.
HAHA, tHE CHICKEN NICE LA.
yy found cockle(???), very small one in her food xDD
then we tried walking with that squeeky sound,
and i almost trip.. wanna get DARS but i lazy.
went to mac then to BK to join the 3Es.
haha, did hw. omg, i can rly study there la.
dunno why, perhaps its the environment.
I MUST TRY CHOC MILK TEA!
ITS NOT SWEET BUT SLIGHTLY BITTER!
bweeeeeees~
then went home...
gonna rest and slack a while then revise amaths.
dun think i doing physics fys. ~~heck la~~
me, yangyu yueyoong and lava feels that,
this mid yr, we gonna go in the 'examination hall'
unprepared. coz a lot of hw etc no mood to study alrdy.
maybe we dunno what to expect like lava told me.
hais, but hope i will panic then study =D
oh yeahs, yest harassed yy.
sorta scared her xDD
then she scared then she from 4th floor run back to class.
last friday we giap yy's xiaokang between the window panes.
then she take photo. then yest ek was asking me why i giap his son xDD
DAMN FUNNY.
the real was so so so real. i sorta wish it would happen but what am i gonna do if it does?
everything seems so real, the feelings, the touch, the voices. but some stupid face keeps appearing... but dont think it'll bother me much since i've immuned myself

A PICTURE TO BURN!

2008-04-21T20:43:00.005+08:00

State the obvious,
I didn't get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine; I'll tell mine you're gay.
And by the way...

I hate that
Stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

There's no time for tears,
I'm just sitting here
Planning my revenge
There's nothing stopping me
From going out with all of your best friends
And if you come around saying sorry to me
My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

'cause I hate that
Stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

If you're missing me,
You'd better keep it to yourself
Cause coming back around here
Would be bad for your health...

'cause I hate that
Stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive

You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying

So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
In case you haven't heard

I really really hate that
Stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

Burn, burn, burn, baby, burn
You're just another picture to burn
Baby, burn...!

So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine; I'll tell mine you're gay.!
I LOVE THIS LINE!

HAHA, CHER RECOMMENDED IT!
I LOVE THE SONG N ITS LYRICS =3
BURN BURN BURN~ xD
gonna ask cousin for help.
amaths i horrible.
sorta finished all my hw.
my cold stopped my from studying.
ARGHHHH. LACK OF TIME.
coz if i have flu/cold, and i study.
IT'S OF NO USE, might as well rest!
arrghhh, drinking damn hot ginger tea.
MY TONGUE. RAAAAAAAAAWR!
but emaths still can handle =)
hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate YOU
and ryan, edward have blogs!
didnt expect that!

step by step;

2008-04-21T16:21:00.004+08:00

okays. no mood for sch again.
was laughing with my sis abt sch stuff.
hahas, she's damn damn bold.
ended up we slept at 11pm +
woke up, as usual, didnt wanna go to sch.
but did anw, when walking to sch.
srsly, i didnt know what was i doing.
pretty restless. but thanks to evelyn...
i got super hyper...
jumping ard etc for chem in IT lab.
made esther change place with me.
so sat with evelyn, and yy.
got damn damn hyper.
LOL then the term, verbally molested was invented by me xDD
hahas, then evelyn got dragged to the other table by miss chui.
she found out =(
so left me and yy
then took lava's toy
the one esther gave, the one that will say hello *walk* i love you!
keep playing. lava said it was esther so yy made it suicide.
HAHA. then jg turned back when it said hello.
class was dead, damn quiet.
hmms, amaths, was... HMMM, was it hyper?
i know i went into my own world, and kena caught by mr lim again!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK.
evelyn also xDD
then recess, went down the eat then laugh at joel seet.
coz he pledge taker then still adjust attire xD
but he quite good .
then his egg got egg shell!
HAHA, told him go tell auntie then take new plate of rice, i eat xDD
but nv.. later went up to class.
emaths. val passed a pack of biscuit to cher.
~~and i took w/o asking~~
then we were eating a few pieces.
mr lim gone le, then shijie also want.
then cher gave him the bear's head. xDD
he's eating HIMSELF!
he didnt realise until some time later.
hahas. chinese was okay.
disturbed yy xD
he can cry for his pen.
then lessons, blah blah.
went toilet with cher, and saw the mess.
HAHA, got ppl pull alot of tissues
and decorated the toilet!
started sneezing.
it marked the start of the sneezing marathon!
lessons were quite funny la.
benjamin crapped xD
cD3. TOTAL CHAOS!
i was laughing like crazy. then ben was wearing this hairband thingy.
so his hair went up. damn funny.
he started doing the air guitar thing, saying he wanna train devy.
he rly made me wanna stand up and jump ard like some idiot.
yes my hyperness hadnt died off!
haha, went down to canteen to celebrate april babies bd.
~~HAHA, I JUMPED DOWN~~
wanted to cream ppl BUT IT WAS CHEESECAKE.
it was pretty nice.
then later went to class.
visited toilet again, and the posters were torn.
LOL, thus we concluded, toilet is a place for ppl to destress.
like ryan ( few months ago) goes to the toilet and comes back being normal.
back to class, yy threw evelyn's pig!
haha, then i throw to the other end of class, and it flew back.
i threw to yy. but esther got it.
so i told evelyn yy got it.
HAHA. then yy kena beaten by evelyn.
HAHA, evelyn believe me not you!
MWAHAHAHAHS.
then yeahs, whacking his head damn fun.
evelyn got pissed and wanted to molest me again
hmms, physics. went hyper. well sorta.
damn cold.
esther n lava found a way to make me sneeze D=
then evelyn kept saying jg is her husband xD
lessons end le then eyahs, went tiong with evelyn and esther.
met cher on the way then i went home.
gonna sleep, wake up, then study...
THERES A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT OF HOMEWORK.
MATHS ALONE GOT 16QNS!
2 TOPICS FOR PHYSICS 5 YR SERIES.
ONE PAGE OF CHEM PRAC.
EMATHS TEST TML *DIES*
yeahs, i saw it on your face =)
cold cold coldddddddddddddddddddd.
zzzz.

my decision

2008-04-20T17:22:00.001+08:00

nothing has happened that past 5 months.
exactly 5 months of shit i've been through.
hope i can stick to that, at least, for exams to be over

disappointments

2008-04-20T11:01:00.004+08:00

slept pretty late yesterday... near 1am?
lols, was rotting in the room with sis, playing music and tekken.
my hand hurts. coz devil jin's so hard to win.
and kuma and panda's story damn damn damn funny!
haha 'shut your bear trap!'
my sis was doing smth super childish which was to start insulting the opponent.
she said smth like, i kill your father!! and she lost la...
i shant go on since i cannot stand it.

hmms, everyone seems to have disappeared, mia on msn.
gaaaah, i shld not use the comp so much alrdy.
perhaps, they are starting to prepare for their exams.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAs.

think i've caught a cold.
BLEHS.
yes, again.

homework-shiok!

2008-04-19T19:46:00.003+08:00

this morning and afternoon.
slacked and slept a lot.
then finally started doing hw at abt 3 or 4.
all the way until 7 excluding dinner time etc.
finished all my hw!
excluding those i cannot do.
YAY, i feel so happy.
its been a long time since i sat down and do hw on sat.
hahas, will study tml =)
hais, cannot scan my sketch on sketch book =((

i know i will be at the losing end when it comes to quarrels
yes, i do visit, to see what you have to say.
so, fine. im not gonna say anything.
and its pointless to go on anymore.
yes, im speechless.
i didnt totally read that whole chunk of words.
i know im wrong sometimes, i will correct it.
im still replying coz i want to.
its like you want me to keep quiet?
hais, whatever.

no regrets, now i see what a bitch you are

2008-04-19T09:45:00.010+08:00

TO YOU
since we're no longer friends,
why bother doing all these shit.
im not stupid nor am i very clever.
but its too obvious, woman.
going around and brainwashing people with all your thoughts.
if you really plan to make my friends hate me, one by one...
what if you won? what if everyone hates me?
you said you will not hesitate to call my parents if things gets worse.
it is for my good right?
yeahs, then why on earth do you try brainwashing people with your thoughts of me?
for my good, WHY ATTACK MY FRIENDS AND CAUSE UNREST?
what the fuck you want.
im supposed to be the one who ask you to shut your fucking mouth up.not you.
you've just convinced me you aint worth my friendship!
you planned everything out, you make use of people to make what you want happens, don't you?
you do what you think is right, even though its wrong,
you go all out to make ppl, you don't like, feel horrible?
for what use? gaining more enemies for me?
DONT YOU SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS NOTHING BUT CHILDISH?
YOU THINK IT WILL HELP ME?
you'll just making my life horrible.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO NEXT.
what if i say i feel helpless now?
since we arent friends, since you don't like me.
why dont we get out of each other 's lifes ?!
why bother trying to make my life miserable?
you don't like me, fine. why do have to do all these?
you really disappoint me.
oh yeah, you made a fool out of yourself.
i doubt you called.
you still dont see why your friends leave you one, by one.
but now, i know.
-
& for you, you screwed up my life, well quite badly.
but im not like her, asking you to watch your back and stuff.
im too nice.
i wont go interfering your problems nor spoil things for you.
coz i believe people have eyes to see for themselves.
and i will at most punch you only.
which i dont think will happen unless i get the chance to.
and i hope you'll wake up and see what are you doing.
i handled the problem you gave me wrongly,
i don't deny i didnt handle it properly.
and this led to fights between me and her.
i didnt know things will end up this way.
yes, its a bad idea from the start.
you've changed, and i've changed too, both, for the worse.
from my point of view, the r/s caused the changes in us.
i don't think i will talk to you in the near future, nor the far future.'
you've hurt me deeply and badly.
you showed me that people can be complicated at this age,
which i refuse to believe.
i trusted you time and time, but later, i found out all were lies.
-
and you, whom she's decided to befriend.
i hope you can think and see for yourself.
i dont know what she's planning but yeahs, all the best.
its when you start to realise things arent what you thought they are,
its time to make a decision, if you want to go on and live with it...
i think you know what i mean.
thats what i've realised and experienced.
what he can do to me, he can do to you.
i may not rly like you, but that's all i'll say.
i wouldnt wanna know when some stuff started.
think you know what i mean.
if you think nothing is wrong, i've nothing to say too.
coz i may be wrong, but you know yourself the best
Don't worry , i WILL NOT do anything funny.
i mean what i say, seriously.
im not trying to sound sacarstic although i feel i do.
when i say i wont, means i wont.
-

nothing is ever gonna be the same again.
when people changes, problems come.
maybe im just one of the unlucky people who will have to face it just right before exams.

kanda died =((
MY DADA DIED!

threat?

2008-04-18T19:54:00.008+08:00

call my parents tonight?
im not scared.
they will understand.
i believe in them.
i know you are seeing this.
you are NOT always right

as from now on, you are no longer a friend of mine.
we cannot get along well.
yeahs, and since you requested it, and im thinking of that
good then =)
don't expect me going to you and asking you back.
BYE to 5 years of friendship.

now you are rly threatening me.
backstabbing one is wrong.
so if you are conscious enough to see what you are doing,
you'll feel guilty.
then i shall see what you will do.

they cannot stand me?
my friends don't know me well enough?
i don't care what you call me or say.
this may be the face time im facing all this shit.
but, i wont be scared by you too =)
ican be mean & bitchy but i wont be able to get over it

my mom finds you childish.
i told you so.
i'll be waiting for your call ^^

im no longer nice; go away if you want to

2008-04-18T16:18:00.011+08:00

cher asked me to post so yeahs.
yesterday, the skin screwed up. edited it, and it screwed up.
This is my reply to you

YES, i DONT deny i've changed for the worst. you think i want to? you might say its my choice and stuff. its been ard 4 months alrdy, and you are still not totally over it. its been only 1 month, and you expect me to recover faster? you said i did not give my all, i nv put in any effort. Its you who don't see it. Perhaps i didnt show it, but it doesnt mean i hadnt done anything! I don't wanna move on huh? Please , I know its NOT fun to remain at this freaking spot. I DO WANNA MOVE ON. I know I will someday, but i'm just stuck at this freaking spot! you say " Just get over him ok. He was NEVER yours to begin with." I shall return this to you as well. and it was my first time having a bf. It was special to me, *long story*.Yeahs, I'm selfish, I'm stubborn, I'm a bitch, whatever you'd wanna call me. i don't care. Maybe i've been a bad friend, who never tell you how i feel about you. You always think you are right and much much more , its just that i don't tell you, because i may be wrong sometimes. I'm not taking this chance to start argueing about that. And, you DID the things i do too! You should understand! Most prob you would say, you did but you are ok now and you don't do it anymore..You only hear from, perhaps, both sides(or more) of the story. You think its enough to come to a conclusion. I'M TELLING YOU NOW - ITS NOT! Go ahead, do what you think is right. I'm the one who apologises when we quarrel and stuff, but this time. I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT THIS TIME ROUND. Yeahs, if we really quarrel, not doubted, i will lose.. We are fighting over this stupid issue, but we're not. Its more of i cannot stand you! Side with him if you want, i wont bother changing your way of looking at this situation.And to you, YEAHS, BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS, WE QUARRELLED COZ OF YOU! but its not your fault, no? Cannot blame you right =)

somethings happened, but i don't want to mention it.
yes, i've really changed.
go away if you want to, i cannot do anything to keep you.
actually sat down and did amaths and compre yesterday.
tidied my stack of papers.

was really moody this morning.
my mood was spoiled early in the morning.
nothing much today.
i failed my 2.4. yes. maybe im taking the trial timing.
felt rly horrible after after it. it's been years since i felt like that.
lucky i was able to control my anger, if not who knows who i've done.
was so tempted to go over to punch you.
held back emotions during class.
its sucky.
hmms, stayed in class during lunch.
law came and sorta shouted at me and i shouted back.
had a staring competition.
you think you got sore eyes i scared you?
and i won.. since im wearing specs, chances of infection is... low?
i think.
then some things happened, think its just me.
thanks sharon, jinyan, cindy, waihan and those who comforted me.
sorry to those whom i've offended today.

any1 can help me edit the codes and make the words black?

how i feel

CAESIUM!

2008-04-17T15:47:00.004+08:00

was rly tired =(
cannot sleep yesterday.
yeahs, blahs, went to sch, blah blahs.
bio was ok, chinese was zzz, emaths was ok lor.
recess, cannot rmb wad happened.
OH YEAH MEALWORM!
i heard the guys wanna put mealworm on table scare ms foong.
was anticipating but oh well~
and my reaction is real real slow.
benjamin showed me the mealworm on his hand.
i was like OH MEALWORM!
then after a well i shrieked and jumped like some idiot.
the next moment i was thinking why the heck did i shriek?!
then later, one whole grp ard him.
he threw the worm and the all the girls went AHHHHHhhh.
LOLS. then he was playing with it.
eng was... omg.
i keep dozing off. i sleepy until i wanted to write freedom with my left hand.
evelyn poked me and ask wad im doing, i woke up and i was like HUH?!
yeahs, hmms, chem.
miss chui got angry and didnt teach for 20mins coz 20ppl nv do hw.
actually passed msg down to apologise at the end, but nv worked.
she showed videos of group one metals, the reactivity.
see caesium, the basin exploded. I WAS CLAPPING IN JOY
I WAS DAMN HAPPY! wanted to see francium but oh well.
SHIOK LA, ~~made me wanna put caesium in someone's mouth.~~
HAHA, and that made me hyper for quite some time.
assembly was, okay.
went down to pass form to GO. finally la.
then walked to tiong with lava siti js syu evelyn.
blahs blahs.
im tired
OH YEAHS. yest chatted with sumi n aaron.
HAHA, talking to aaron is DAMN FUN ^^
esp when we bash certain people up.
and starts talking about the ~~anti-____ club~~ etc
and the 3rd party is cher's pig.
evelyn and her bf(pig) WAS tgt

HAHA, CHER TOT ME THAT

ITS CHERYL!

it looks sorta nice neh?
potato(the sauce thingy), fries, cabbage, chilli, coke and nutchos

comp. which one?

2008-04-16T20:12:00.014+08:00

UPDATED 3G BLOG WITH MY CRAP xD
look at hbh blog!
haha i wanna submit this

then did vector coz i felt like xD
GUESS WHO!
high contrasts are eating me

i wanna feature my stitchy.

JINYAN!
she is the small, chubby, SHORT girl you find in 3E and 2E'o7
hmms, she sat beside me last year.
i wonder she tolerates my nonsense.
we go hyper together.
started playing the slapping game.
AND SHE WILL ALWAYS GET CAUGHT
and get questioned by Mr Kam xDD
'why did you slap your friend?'
she always wished she was taller than me.
a stitch lover. has a room filled with stitch.
after looking at stitch for who knows how many years,
when she opens her mouth, you will realise...
you've found another stitch!
HMMMS, she's fun to bully, easy to PUSH xDD
distants herself from me coz she thinks im lesbian.
(psst, evelyn's worst and she's sitting beside me!)
in class, i always set up this compass at the edge of the table,
hoping lawrence will kena it when lean back.
OOPS LAWRENCE xD
we will anticipate it, but i always pull out last minute.
we always drop things, then same timing go take.
YEAHS, BUMPED OUR HEADS. theres once, DAMN PAINFUL LA.
HAHA MO QI MO QI!
sometimes, she's stuck to sharon.
and it leaves me with disadvantages coz i cannot bully her,
SHARON'S SCARY!
she's one of the cute and cuddly people you can find xDD
HAHA, i;ve never seen her angry before
(i dont think she can get angry xDD)
i always threatened her, by editing her photos.
AND YOU BETTER GIVE ME MY POCKY. MWAHAH.
im nice *acts stupid*
I LOVE MY STITCHY!
too many ppl call her stitch alrdy.
so must have V2.
STITCHY XDDD

...no way...

2008-04-16T16:13:00.006+08:00

arghhh.
smth is going horribly wrong/unstable , i know.
coz when i miss double digits by 1 min, smth is wrong.
yeahs, got used and realised it.
i think i know why.
arghh,
okays. what happened.
bio. totally screwed up la. i study for 5 FREAKIN HOURS.
and im gonna do badly for the test.
wtf?
cd3 was lol? then physics.
rotted behind. wrote I love kailing on her hand (3rd day le)
then i played with my pen. make the ink spring then it dropped into the hole
on the comp table. yeahs, went under table.
then cannot find, wanna stand up, hit my head.
stupid table, not once not twice but 4 times.
blehs. then playing with that smiley thingy.
my pencilcase got one small tear T^T
recess, stayed in class do amaths.
then kena offended by benjamin.
I MAY BE LAUGHING N ALL BUT IM ANGRY!
ss seq was okay. BUT I SHLD HAVE WRITE EXPOSITION-LY.
can score la. but at least i know how to write now.
and, summary highest 17, I GOT 16! HAHA.
highest record for my summaries.
el, ms tan told us some funny stuff like her amaths teacher thinks
she need a miracle to pass amaths and all.
hahas, lava was like, louiza, nxt time ur turn.
amaths changed seat with cher. i dunno why also.
then nth lor. keep sneezing, yes, it was funny.
went to tiong with evelyn for lunch.
how does a potato taste like?
how does potato + potato taste like?
and a lot of funny stuff happened.
then her friends came.
went up popular then go home.
blehs. i wanna sleeep but i wanna bather.
BLEHS.
and argh, why things are like so *I&Y£"$(*YEDASDH(*Y"EO
*hands gesture*
LOL.
went for a nap. anyway orhs,
the 3rd party... came in...
quite some time ago.
shall keep ppl in suspense first.
yeahs, malice. got photos somemore
i won't pity you,
you deserve it

woahs, im finally full.
i've no appetite also.
my tummy hurts. damn badly T^T

SPIN SPIN SPIN. getting giddy.

2008-04-15T18:15:00.013+08:00

hmms, yest cannot sleep again.
arghhh. some stuff happened.
i was damn damn tired and sick of everything last night.
very.
then a lot of philosophical, blahs blahs came up like crazy.
forgotten alrdy. coz im damn tired.

woke up, felt like sleeping then pretend to be sick.
but still forced myself to go sch.
borrow emaths from evelyn.
emaths lessons, sian.
physics, went it room.
nth much? or i cant rmb..
chinese... i only rmb her nagging.
recess, chiong today's emaths hw ~~and copy amaths~~
i will die if i continue to live like this.
then managed to 'finish'
amaths, stared at whiteboard blankly.
coz my answers all correct mahs.
geog, did wb. and rotted and rotted.
my stupid fringe. RAWR.
eng, needa see ms tan. SHE DAMN SCARY T^T
wanna leave sch with evelyn then she cannot find her wallet.
it was in edward's back, and erics n jg's idea i think.

went to tiong, went hyper on the way.
like madwomen. hahas, YOUR HOUSE xDD
went up to popular, then to mac, coz was hungry.
made evelyn laugh, she almost merlion and shoot everything out AT ME!
took her bio wb as shield but no more le.
chatted etc, mixed curry sauce, bbq sauce n chilli sauce.
quite nice xDD then win, law they all came.
and just nice, we finished our lunch.
took escalator down to underpass.

someone walked up beside me....

yeahs...

my mum... i was totally stunned.

and i was giggling and so was she.
went up etc.

then started studying bio at like 3+
all the way until 6+
3hours. longest record this yr...
my fingers were dying. from writing too much.
T^T got giddy also. hunger pangs also -__-
ate dinner, still hungry, and all my energy's drained
my finger hurts T^T

something i realised about myself;
when im busy, or stressed, talk to me and you'll die xDD
made some decisions, i rly hope i wont regret *crosses fingers*

hais, since i know that i will die if i continue living my life like
this
its time to change D=

that glare came from the bottom of my heart;
yes, its no good to see that...

i rly wanna ___________________but i cant bear to. its about 1 month plus and im ________________________________ . you dont know ____________________________ ..argh, stress. i dunno abt the fac stuff. if i made the correct decision. ARGH. and exams are coming. FUCK EVERYTHING... nothing i did was successful etc, yeahs i've faced lots of disappointments, i know ppl may have gotten it much worst but i think its bad enough for me alrdy.. im not up for the idea to keep moving forward bravely. coz i will fall, lose things...

Louiza, your subconscious mind is most preoccupied with issues around your work life

On a conscious level, you might already be aware that something is troubling you, or eating up a lot of time when it comes to your work life. But it's also possible that thoughts and feelings about working have been preoccupying your subconscious mind — leaving you with nothing more than a general sense that things just don't feel 100% right in your life though you can't quite figure out why.

You may question whether you should, or shouldn't be, working. You may be dissatisfied with your career or drained by the day-to-day of your job. Maybe people don't consider what you do to be valuable. Or maybe you're so frustrated with your work situation you avoid the topic all together.

Whichever feelings hold true, your test results indicate that right now, your subconscious mind is working overtime to resolve the issues confronting you in this area of your life — even if you don't feel aware of it.

However, you can learn easy ways to tap into your subconscious mind and discover the source of the issues that are preoccupying you.

HAHA, pretty true..

argh, all these shits!
T_______T

ahhh, fireworks...
ARGHHHH.
now you think you popular and everybody loves you la? you think everybody looks up to you? you think everybody will just come to you? MY FOOT! you seriously have forgotten nothing comes easy. SO DONT TAKE THINKS FOR GRANTED, FUCKER. first.. then now.?! come on la, GO AND REFLECT! yeahs, i was too blind to see what a person you are! friends. how can you fucking lose a friend? as in your friend got stolen or you steal a friend?! people have their rights, if they wanna follow you or whatever, im not saying i shld interfere, but i rly wanna say what i think. FRIENDS CAN LEAVE YOU ANYTIME IDIOT! but good friends wont, they wont. if you think your friends are stolen etc, go home and reflect! its either that person aint a good friend from a start or you're worse than that 'theif'/new found friend. FRIENDS ARE HUMANS LEI. ENTITLED TO FREEDOM. you think your friends are CHAINED to you is it?! im rly pissed. you dont know how to cherish everything around you. taking people and everything for granted. JUST WAIT TILL YOU LOSE THEM AND IT'LL ALL BE TOO LATE. i know you are reading this. as usual, omg louiza is referring to me! haha, you are guilty then. hope you see the big picture soon, or else, ~~i'll rly look forward to you losing everything and regretting~~ omg i aint as nice, hahas, now you ask, WHOSE FAULT IS IT HUH?! its hard to think simple again. coz i've been 'polluted' by the truths. aiya, whatever shit la.

im depressed, all over again.

2008-04-14T21:15:00.006+08:00

GUESS WHO IS GONNA APPEAR ON YOUR SCREEN!

DA

DA

DA

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

CHER!

eve- i dont wanna care mode cher- stoned mode za- sleepily hyperactive mode

photos not in order.
aiya, i got too much cher's photos.
i shall specially pick some xDDD
lala, today was super... fun/scary/horrid/tiring/omg,
whatever you wanna call it after reading this post.

kkays, went earlier for ap, did chemistry then bam, rested on table.
cher was like, im gonna do work and does nothing xDD
hmms, chemistry... we went lab i think. I RLY CANNOT RMB.
then amaths...
dunno from when, evelyn starts sexually harrassing me T^T
i was damn scared for the whole, entire day
ya, that bad.. hmms, recess, rotted in class...
trying to do amaths but oh well *shrugs*
emaths was as usual-> boring
i was damn scared of evelyn la. T^T
chinese was ok lor, quite sian, but evelyn sorta got scolded for playing xD
she was trying to disturb me mahs.
my chinese test get 38/50. 3rd highest. like wtf.
38 is the usual score(i think) i get last yr!
and, when i was doing the test, i was suffering and in a super bad state.
i just crapped and went to sleep early during the test!
omg. power of flu!
CD3. dunno wad i did. but i was sitting with cher, listening to music.
and doodling zachereve. it all started when cher started drawing a girl doing work.
hahas. yeahs, photos above =)
then went for quick lunch and back into the class.
hmms physics went lab. ms tay not there. flashed answer on screen for wb.
damn blur, cannot see anything =(
but got the corrections done,
was playing with phones xD
went over to yueyoong and sat down beside her.
played with lava's moving toy. the one that goes i love you *walks*
haha, eric was damn funny. he was like HELLO! *snaps* it stopped *snaps*
HAHA, i made it banged into the 'wall'
then ms tay came in, and i wasnt visible coz i was sitting on the floor behind.
so i did stupid things, treating the it lab like my home xD
i lied down =DD
blahs, then cher ask me accompany her go field.
yeahs, waited for a while, went toilet then meet the others.
went to tiong, and looked for places to eat (since cher was hungry)
and a place to camp.
finally ended up at subway. OMG I FEEL HUNGRY NOW XDD
ate, and tried to take unglam photos of each another and fighting like idiots
didnt rly get an unglam of cher D=
coz my phone laggggggs.
then gen n farouq came, and went to my hse.
keith came over n left.
then my father sorta got pissed and stuff.
later they left too.
i feel bad not doing maths, but i rly dunno mahs.
so studied for bio. 2hrs straight. only one chapter!
waa, im in study mode but im tired...
way too tired to continue...
im getting sadder and sadder and stupidly sadder. i realised i've changed and still changing...coz you showed me the people are rly not as simple as i thought they were. it DID affect me, PRETTY BADLY.im not as nice =(( yes, i want everything to be simple
argh, im getting from bad to worst. or from worst to even worst...
i cannot organise everything, and argh... fac @_@
i really don't know, i only know im tired of everything...
everything...
if im alrdy so sick and tired of life at the age of not even 15.
how am i supposed to live on?!

thanks for knocking sense into me

2008-04-13T15:18:00.011+08:00

thanks gen, for knocking sense into me.
i dont know what would i've done( very lil chances) if you hadnt say all those things.
hahs, its rly amazing how we got tgt after every small fights.
(i've said that for the 465464645415312348th time)
yay, cher featured me xDD.
UEMURAAAAAAAAAAAAAA xDD
hmms, i went for a short rest.
30mins + 30mins= 1h.
in the end i didnt get to sleep.
cannot concentrate on hw.
im gonna be serious tml, i hope.
i wanna pay attention. coz i realise there aint enough time.
-
yay, now i know how to do the colours thingy.
coz i always see codes but it nv works.
thanks paul =DD
HAH, so fun, so fun.
gonna do hw soon.
-
finished all except chem n amaths...
ahhh, i gonna go watch tv and slack ard.
im still tired.
hopped to hbh blog.
HAHA, THE POCKY WILL BE MINEEEEEEE!
moral of story: when there's food, there's louiza =D
lala, and now my msn is colourful. look!

and i pranked hc...
hais, she posted it on her blog.
play till the thing crash xD
LOL, then my name's code all gone and set to default =(
but hc saved it and i got back the colours =D
hahas, damn funny.
i banged into my bed the frame thingy. pain.
blueblack haven ok leis
now disturbing aaron.
HAHA. just nice he uses comic sans.
attacked yangyu xDD
she thinks its virus.
man, this is fun.

I am NOT away... says:
hi

I am NOT away... says:
i love louiza

I am NOT away... says:
hello

I am NOT away... says:
huh

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
huh?

I am NOT away... says:
omg

I am NOT away... says:
what happened'

I am NOT away... says:
virus'

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
what what happened?

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
you said hi only

I am NOT away... says:
i dont know

I am NOT away... says:
i didnt type tat

I am NOT away... says:
yes

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
you did....

I am NOT away... says:
no

I am NOT away... says:
i didnt

I am NOT away... says:
i only typed hi

I am NOT away... says:
hello

I am NOT away... says:
i didnt type i love louiza

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
YOU DID

I am NOT away... says:
no i didnt

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
I am NOT away... says:
i love louiza

I am NOT away... says:
its another of ur trick

I am NOT away... says:
i didnt type tat

I am NOT away... says:
the font and colour is differ from mine

I am NOT away... says:
i love louiza

I am NOT away... says:
its u la

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
LOL

I am NOT away... says:
lol

I am NOT away... says:
lame

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
ok la

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
but lol YOU KENA TRICKED

ツ Løµ¡zå - chocolates or your life ! says:
YAY

the italic ones, i typed em...
aiya.. next time cannot disturb ppl since they know alrdy...
and its getting boring...
attacked yy n harris n gen xDD
but harris saw through it D=

cant help but ______________________________ ARGHS

2008-04-13T12:13:00.006+08:00

i hate ppl who dunno how to draw a line between friends and bf/gf, and those who dunno how to keep their distance away from attached ones.
cannot be bothered to post much now.
yest met gen then went suntec met russell.
he's damn small, like p3 when he's sec 3.
rot ard, ate at sakae sushi.
farouq took photo of me when im eating -___-
NOT ONCE ONLY. ZZZZ.
then went sji, saw his friends.
went in, saw someone who looked like steffie.
the show was ok, i think it was a waste of time n money,
and its super violent and weird coz no females,
so sometimes guys talk to air. and i dun get anything!
'i' wasnt there..
later realised it WAS REALLY STEFFIE.
took bus back.
actually planned to watch shutter, i didnt rly want to.
horror movie at like 10+? and gen hafta go home.
so yeahs, went home and rotted in mum's room watching mtv.
i've srsly got no mood.
i slept till 11.30 and still tired.
bloghopped and yeahs..
everything is so so so...
ARGHHHHHHHHH
fuck la, you wont know how much im suffering. im just totally bu shuang
go gen's blog for more info.
oh yeahs, i got a new pencil case =D
it says, hand over the chocolates and nobody gets hurt xD

the thing is i thought i've gotten outta it

2008-04-12T08:09:00.007+08:00

woke up at 7.30 =(
cannot sleep alrdy..
hais, whatever.
im back to square after yest.
nvm, i shant say anything.
gonna watch dgrayman and chiong hw later,
maybe go sleep also.
meeting gen at 6.30.
hope its fun...
i wonder if holding back lots of tears will make your eyes feel swollen... you've really changed... my fault... i shldnt have agreed if it brings harm to both of us in the end. if once told me, i wouldnt know all that happened. you know what you did.-after one hour-
watched dgrayman, im loving kanda MORE AND MORE.
he's hot xDD that symbol/curse thingy is sooooo pretttty...
his life force is limited T^T
stupid skinbolic!
now its like 9.20, i shall go for a nap
-edit-
watched iswak, had another nap.
meeting gen in abt 5 mins?
hope i'll enjoy it, seriously.

was flooded again;

2008-04-11T22:18:00.012+08:00

its a caterpillar.
yeaps, 3rd time this week

not in order

OKAYS.
last night conver with lava and syu.
I FINALLY KNOW HOW TO CONVER. USING HP!
w00ts.
then hmms, morning, wahlao, heavy rain!
didnt wanna wake up but i did anyway.
weirdly, i did things super fast.
then went to class, yy took off her shoes n socks.
was thinking about doing that but nv, coz my socks are wet!
yeahs, but i did, later.
spelling was horrible.
i heard n rmb vettoes as mentos, yeahs, mentoes.
hmmms, den i took off my socks and shoes.
trying to hide them, so i sat with my legs crossed xDD
then pe, so wore them again. no choice coz my shoe got hole mah.
changed etc. went for pe.
actually wanna redo some stations but i dragged kc, and played badminton.
played badminton with kc, ws and leonard.
DAMN FUNNY LA! the shuttle went into the drain like 4 times!
i know 2 times i hit, then the other 2 i cannot rmb who.
then those guys hit so hard. zzzz. cannnot jump high enough D=
funny thing is, there's limited space, and i keep hitting to the side.
then its grass and drain at the side, so its like, leonard will stretch his hand
and hit the shuttlecock. HAHA, and i purposely did it a few times.
keep hitting it to the fence.
played with benjamin, leonard and val, cher.
i cannot rmb but got once its 3v3.
then later team with benjamin. i keep complaining i nv get to hit,
so i went to snatch it from him, i sorta scare him?
then played handicap against val and vanessa, I WON xDD
i keep hitting gabriel, as in the shuttlecock.
DAMN FUNNY LA, he's innocent!
he just stood there, backfacing us.
then benjamin hit the shuttlecock and it landed on paul's back when he's
doing standing broad jump. ROFL...
it was damn damn damn fun.
emaths, super bad headache.
recess, just rotted ard I THINK...
ss, omg damn sleepy. was dozing off with cher.
bio was damn slack. ms pang allowed us to listen to mp3 xDD
later rotted in class. and during the 1h break,
i was despo-ly looking for my graphbook!
i thought it was lost, later i rmb i passed it to someone,
but i forgot who!
so i kept whining and whining. jared bullied cher. lols.
went down buy graph book, ms tay lookin for jg
saw jg, called him, he nv hear.
called him again and he turned and looked at the small girl near him
LOLS, damn funny. he finally realises it when we're behind him.
later mr lim came in, then lessons started.
ryan came to me and passed me my emaths book.
im was damn Y*&^T*("£&^$(*YDBSD
LOLS, for ppl who saw how desperate i was to find my graph book knows it
was fighting with yy. he came and sat at evelyn's place.
i succeeded in annoying him like crazy.
he thinks he's so damn clever.
was doing the stupid graphs with cher.
wrote up lorms for her, i so nice =DD
went to have lunch with syu n lava, talked about lots of things xD
then they came my hse, bathed then help me choose clothes,
coz i stupidly dunno what is formal and what's not...
yeahs, after some time, i realise i have none, then went to ransack my mum's
room. then found one. ended up wearing this lace-y long sleeve one.
met joel seet, took out my phone and saw 5:55
i was complaining that i look stupid all the way to the convention hall
and hiding from everyone -____- but i realised its not that bad later.
the performance was good.
the band's performance gave me mixed emotions.
joel seet was damn happy the performance ended coz he wanna see siti.
coz one wk nv see her, coz he one wk mc due to chickenpox xD
hmmms, the dances were good...
AND FITRI I SPOTTED YOU IN BOTH DANCE!
choir was nice also... FURBY SAW ME AND I SAW HER!
yeahs, the finale...
hais, reminds me of 2e'o7 girls,
there's once we keep singing that.
anw, kena attacked by that whatever thingy that 'explodes' and shoots out
errrrrr, shreds of paper etc.
then chiong backstage with lava, syu n joel to find siti.
we were scared we'll get chased out or something. damn fun.
the place is complicated.
damn confusing! cannot find I.D.!!
ran ard, went down the stairs then finally found them.
hahas, then yeahs, went home with jolene and kailing.
jolene hit her jaw and it made some sound so the teeth hit each another.
nvm, i dunno how to explain...
ahh, looking forward to tml night!
im having a bit of headacheeeee... and i saw 10:10
xDDD
i almost gave in to sadness. those thoughts that attacked me a few hours ago... hais, but good i didnt rly give in
im hungry, i didnt take dinner today...
coz no one going for dinner D=
gonna hunt down snacks...
i wonder what if i was still in performing arts...

AGITATED

2008-04-10T20:19:00.008+08:00

the bottle cap is opening...
ARGH, I'VE BEEN BOTTLING THIS SHIT FOR WHO KNOWS HOW FUCKING LONG.
i've been hiding everything, really running away from everything...this sucks, this really sucks.i wanna face it, once and for all.i've been living for the sake of living,just study and study, and do whatever im supposed to.what happened everyday doesnt bother me. arghhh, i must not do what i know is wrong.

ARGH.
just go away, i just wanna vent all these shit.
yeahs, i dont know what the fuck am i doing also...

-chilled.
thanks aaron and gen, for tolerating my nonsense, and rants.
haha, i needa explode a bit before it overflows.
well, i guess only i understand what i said.
anw, my seq almost turned into an exposition, but i saved it.
it turned into a semi-exposition cum seq.
wth am i saying?!

random tests

2008-04-10T18:54:00.002+08:00

did some tickle tests.

The Imagination Test
Louiza, your imagination is fueled by a subconscious desire for Innocence.

The stories in the deepest recesses of your imagination suggest that you have a strong longing to feel innocent and to have a clear conscience. They may also indicate that you are unable to forgive yourself for something that happened in your past.

Your subconscious feeds your imagination. It is where your deepest thoughts and feelings are housed and it has great power over how you experience and interpret the world.

You can't control your subconscious, but you can learn from it. In fact, it's the fastest path to knowing what you really need and want. Do you have needs that are going unfulfilled? Are you puzzled by how you interpret events? Do you have issues that you want to address, but you don't know where to begin? It's possible your imagination is trying to tell you something.

i agree. eating prawn crackers though... xDDD

Are You Good to Your Body?
Louiza, your body's telling you to Eat Better

Doughnuts, chips, cookies. Sure, they're yummy. We can't disagree with you there. But it sounds like your body is saying that it'd like to see more of the good stuff mixed in there, too. You know, things like fruits and veggies for vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants.

Social and friendly, you like to take life in and enjoy yourself. Whether you're going to the movies, checking out a new restaurant, grabbing a quick bite on the go, or enjoying a BBQ at a friend's house, you get out and about. Nothing wrong with that. Just try to add some more healthful choices in. And don't forget to stay hydrated. Now that's refreshing!

LOL!

What's Your Eating Style?
Louiza, you're an Indulgent Eater

You, more than others, truly gain satisfaction from eating. And because of this, you sometimes have difficulty slowing down or just saying no. You enjoy eating and what's great about that is you understand how to appreciate certain aspects of food that others do not. You see food as more than just a source of nutrition or energy. For you, dining, or just plain eating, can be a really enjoyable experience. On the downside, however, you might sometimes indulge too much in the satisfaction you get from eating.

*NODS*

The Dream Interpretation Test
Louiza, the recurrent theme of your dream life is Empowerment

You're dreaming about antagonistic people and situations that are threatening to diminish your personal power. This means that in some area of your life, you're searching for ways to regain your sense of security and certainty.

kk, i wanna watch iswak2/tka

cherywlll IS CUDDDDLYYYYYYYY

2008-04-10T15:18:00.006+08:00

kkays. last night, amazing that i nv online right?
mum nagged etc so hide inside room, read sophie's world FOR ONE HOUR...
i plan to re-read the whole book and slowly digest it
after i finish it once, for exams.
dont see how boring it is... LOL.. well, quite la.
but i cannot stop reading.

now listening to :恶作剧 by 王蓝茵

IM SO HOOKED! fought with some ppl yest.
blehs, spoiled my mood.
im very errr, not nice now.
sad to say.
this morning, nth much.
blahs, blahs, lava nv go sch coz she's sick.
HOW DARE SHE!
nvm, lessons were pretty fun.
keep disturbing evelyn's 'bf' and cherywl's pig is the 3rd party
whatevers. haha, tried disturbing cherywl when she's doing work,
she's scary T^T... so i disturb evelyn then she scold me i think.
hahas, hmms, sat down and threw broom at ben, then he threw back.
LOL, yes, while sitting down and 2 person+some space between.
HAHA. cheryl caught it, xDD
assembly, no comments.
wanted to meet gen asap but her sch haven end.
hais, then tx ask me if i wanna go for duty for rhapsody but im not.
dunno which (&*^(*£"Y(*)E mosquito keep attacking me.
and the first time i feel full during recess, no appetite.
SUGOI! *claps*
hmmmms, nth to say.
HAIS. I DUN WANNA DO SS HOMEWORK!
RAAAAAAAAAAWR!

cherwyl is super super cuddly and cute.
she's damn nice, her pencil always invade my notebook.
to try to cheer me up. and coz of that, my notebook has lots of..
errr, chibis?
UEMURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! xDD
wait, i dunno how to phrase that but nvm la.
hahas, thanks~

gen made me get outta my hse.
and walk to the bus stop op my sch.
WHY I KEEP MEETING CATERPILLARS!
when i walked back, i saw one dangling caterpillar la.
OMG. just nice, i finished my emaths.
ARGH. SS. ARGH

everyone can see it

2008-04-09T17:45:00.006+08:00

hmms, had a super weird dream x)
only lava knows..
its super weird, then i found out my dreams are tooo drama -___-
she dunno how i can dream of these stuff
anw, holiday mood when i woke up,
COZ ITS HOLS IN MY DREAMS!
disappointed when i woke up.
went to sch... hmms, saw sharon so we walk tgt..
bio was still ok. then CD3.
mr tay told us some stuff about himself.
hahas, so funny. then physics test.
IT IS DAMN SIMPLE... but my 5 marks fly.
if only i made the change last minute!
i was hesitating!!!
argh, why must i keep screwing up my physics test
when its so freakin simple!
hais, then it felt like the end of the day...
but nvm, went for recess... dunno what happened.
hmms, ss and el..
my grp presented...
smth horrible happened. as in for me.
I DIDNT REALISE UNTIL I FINISH PRESENTING!
ahhhh, i couldnt understand what i wrote.
no time to think and the points i wrote down,
has sentence structure errors o___o
amaths was... RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR.
i copy amaths during bio.
i originally dunno how to do long division,
i copy until i know =DD
so yeahs, went to change.
yy was angry with ek. and yy is damn cute la.
hmmmmms, its either edwin( is that his name?) and edward put lizard.
then edward pointed it out to me, so i shrieked.
I WASNT SCARED! I SWEAR! XDD just shrieked for fun only...
its a fake, but i dunno if its real lei...
cherwl is cuddddly xDD
cherwl cherwl~
hahas, went for napfa then my shuttle run like 1 sec lesser to A.
one more sit up to A. 1/2 of NC2 was staring at me when i was doing sit ups.
planning to retake during pe.
so went home. yangyou was writing on the whiteboard.
filling the whiteboard with ben-love-jinyan-s
HAHA i got the photo...
walked to tiong with lava.
very long nv do that alrdy, who knows its teh first xD
went to kfc coz she wanna buy food.
wahlao, i was standing down there resisting the urge to get smth to eat..
.went down to four leaves, bought bread xDDD
hmms, one chicken curry puff? its the squarish one, then quite crispy de.
and some small errrr, what is it called? nvm, finished b4 i reached home
came home, rot ard a while, watch tv then chiong maths.
got a lot dunno how to do...
gonna watch iswak.
hmmms, i guess...
gen asked me to go sji( farouq's sch) to watch a play.
LOL, YAY im going. i cannot wait!
hahas, just think of the stupid stuff we gonna do!

for the truth you have made me see;

2008-04-08T18:36:00.009+08:00

random titleeeeeeeeeee.
okays, woke up.
totally cannot differentiate from my dreamy state.
its like i dreamt i was running, rp-ing ppg.
yeahs, dancing and doing stupid stuff. standard.
LOL. damn funny. and i woke up sweating coz its was damn warm.
hmms, went to sch... i forget what happened.
hmms, emaths. was. rawr. shitty.
i hate graphs TO THE COOOOOOREEE.
physics, guai guai sat down and do hw...
chinese was blehs.
recess went down eat then... yeahs dunno wad happened.
amaths was zzz, trying to rush hw coz i did ALL wrongly.
geog was ok. i was literally rotting behind, in my own world...
with my headache =(
eng was ok ok. chem was hmms, ok lor.
oral. i was timekeeper.
then yeahs, was fighting with evelyn.
she damn perverted. whack my ass.
hmms, yeahs, studied for physics, read sophie's world.
talked to yy, she's like, know a lot abt the arts industry etc..
im was damn impressed... she knows a lotttttttt
i waited till 5.05 liddat for my turn.
a bit scared. i stuttered and gasped.
but i receivd positive feedbacks =D
i saw a band 2 for my pic. discussion...
she said my pacing n tone got variation.
got cover most things for picture conver.
conversation i showed maturity xD and
im able to analyse the qns and ans blahs
she said its well done =D
PFFFFFFFFFFT. still highlighting?! wad you wanna see?!
heavy rain. lava n syu super nice.
waited for me. yeahs, both gates closed.
so yeahs, 3 ppl 1 umbrella cannot.
so i ran to bus stop then let them use umbrella
coz they wait for me mahs.
xD, getting drenched is shiok.
hahas, actually going to queenstown then back to tiong.
but i borrowed umbrella and walked home...
wanted to rot in rain but lava dun let..
walked home alone, hmms, nv rly think...
just walked and walked...
reached home.
so i was my cousin who ate the chips xD
she bought some back =DD
will revise physics. im not doing maths.
argh, i may fall sicker.
sounds soooo wronggggggg...
i wanna do another photo manip leissss..
watched iswak2. damn funny.
anw, when walkin to sch, saw birds attacking worms.
i felt damn scared. its like 2 birds attacking 2 worms.
and the worms are giant
T^T i felt super scared laaaaaaaaa =((

ben loves jinyan and thinks she's hot!

im super bu shuang.
waaa, my mood is swinging.
cant you seeeeeeeeee?
and, some ppl nv ever seems to realise things.
how stupid can they get...